StrawBerry KingDome

Leaving

2009-04-05T21:50:00.003+08:00

Oh well....i really like this song...sang in Armagedon (i think i mispelled the name of the movie) and if you noticed, i had been singing it quite often lately. haha

" I'm leaving.......on a jet plane.......don't know when i'll be back again". Oh yes, I am leaving Malaysia...but not on a Jet plane, but on Boeing 747. hahaha. And yes, i really don't know when i will be back again....perhaps.....Next July? Nope, not July 2009 but July 2010. Lol. sounds funny right? haven't even reach this year's July and i am already talking about Next year's july.

Oh well well......thank you everyone, for all the wishes, calls, sms-es, facebook message...blah blah. I really appreciate them well. It made me feel so touched......i never know i am so popular!!! hahahaha....sorry la, let me Syok Sendiri for the last time in Malaysia....you won't get to see me SS in Malaysia anymore....at least not in year 2009!!

Time flies. Can't imagine that New Year just passed by. I clearly remember that day, i spent whole night on phone since my house had a darked out and thanks to TM Malaysia, they have thi "talk all night for free" promotion, i spent my night well talking on the phone with 2 of my "ji-mui"s. haha. Talk with 1st one, then after hang up the 1st....call the 2nd person. lol. Real good in "boiling porriage" right? hahaha. And yes, New Year, my dog shivered on my lap...making me feel like im having a Osim Uzap on my tighs while i mugged through all my notes preparing for the killer EOS. And now.....its time to leave Malaysia.

Seriously, i don't know what had i done these few months. Hmm....i know i have enough sleep and play. I met a lot of my relatives.....spend a good time in JB with my dear Aunt Mei (not a good time but 2 good times) then went back NUMEROUS time to Kedah for my Gpa's after death ceremonies. I can't clearly pin-point what i had done....all i can say is....i did LOADS of stuffs....that i know all the memories can help me crawl through all the sadness and homesickness while im in Aberdeen. Or....maybe...hopefull the memories can help me through (haha...im not sure how severe my homesick will be)

My brother said i sounded nervous. Seriously, i feel i am more of leaving for holidays than to stay there for long. Feels like im going on a 3 weeks vacation in Japan with my aunt. hahaha. Maybe when i reach Aberdeen, i will start to get the "real feel".

So, yes, please...to my fellow aberdeen mates, seniors....if i am having a red eye, red nose and a coarse voice....please leave me alone....let me cry my lung out....i will stand up soon! i just need to cry!!

Okie......i guess this will be my last post in Malaysia.............will see when i could write new stuffs in UK for this blog.

Thank you everyone...esp mum and dad. I know you guys miss me and will worried. i can see and feel it. I realize that these few days...esp yesterday and today....all my favourite dishes suddenly pops out on the dinner table. lol. Mum even went all the way to SS15 Market to get the pork balls just becuz i like it. Thanx...i will miss you all!! And grandma, thanx for making the dumbling when mum couldn't make it...and the best thing is....the dumpling taste well!! Just that i really dont have much appetite knowing that im leaving soon. sigh

I guess thats all~ See you. Good bye, everyone!

Happy BIrthday!!

2009-03-26T22:06:00.002+08:00

*no, this does not mean im opening my blog again!! Just an occasional entry!! *

Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday To me
Happy Birthday to me!!

haha...sounds pathetic right? singing myself a birthday song! But nah....i had a great one. I don't need a cake, i don't need a celebration, i don't even need anything.....for i already have a BIG bunch of people who wished me since yesterday and of course those trying to get me tru phone and sms. I am sorry i didn't get your sms nor phone call since something wrong has happened either my phone or my network provider who is Maxis. Since my phone is in a good condition....so i guess....the fault is on..........

I am serious that i do not have a cake nor celebration. No, don't stop shouting " what? 21st also no celebration?" Well, i had a lunch with my parents the other day......Jap Buffet...so i guess thats my birthday celebration. Come to think about it....i have a birthday present too....haha...i just rememberd my cousin gave me one few weeks ago. Oh good...feels a bit sad of not having even one birthday present!! lol

So, imagine, i have a cake infront of me....what would i wish for??? hmm

1st close eyes...
2nd clasps my hands
3rd....wish..........for world peace!!! hahaha
4th BLow the candles

Sorry la, my birthday wish is always world peace since im 12yrs old. Cuz i understand only by achieving world peace, only will everyone be happy. I want to be happy and so does everyone to be happy....so i wish for a more generous wish...of world peace....but well, i had been wishing for....8yrs still the wish didn't come true....lol...not sincere enough?

But, if i am to be given another few wishes...i would wish for.....erm my parents to be in good health and so do I, everyone around me to be happy and I can work harder and do better in my Medicine course!! Jia you!!

ADD OIL!!

p/s: i just remember some important ppl forgotten my birthday....haha, still waiting for her to remember. lol

Thank you everyone...for you....continuos birthday greetings in Facebook.....reply till i am so tired!! lol

HUGS and Muackz~~~

SET

2008-12-02T22:37:00.001+08:00

As mentioned earlier....
by 170th post, i would announce the fate of this blog. Haha.

And yes, i have decided to temporarily close this blog down and shift to other blog.

Click here for the link: http://strawberrrykingdome.vox.com/

So, for whoever has been reading and will not be continue reading due to the "mafan-ness" i thank you for the support so far......
and for those who will be going tru all the trouble...
thank you so much for being with me. Hopefully we can still keep in touch after i go Aberdeen.

Jah.....that marks the end of my 170th post....
and

i officially announce this blog will be close temporarily till further notice. Temporary= i don't know when....hahaha....maybe...one fine day.....i feel like having a new blog again. Haha.

Arigatou Gozaimasu!!

Disaster~

2008-12-02T22:36:00.000+08:00

Finally started CNS revision today. 2nd round........actually is 1st round after the so call "highlight rounds". Yet, since my highlight round is also known as study and remember round......i classifiy them as 1st round.

Seriously, i really hate CNS so much, as much as i hate MSK. haha. Now MSK not that hateful ady, CNS took the 1st place.....

Sien, talked to Lie Joo this afternoon and she told me what to concentrate in CNS. You know what, i sort of freaked out after i talked to her. OMG, the things that i am concentrating aren't at all important. Whatever i thought won't be that important ARE important. Sigh. Cham liao la. I plan to fail CNS de, but then she say don't give up, cannot give up cuz most OSPE and EOS ques would be on sem4 and CNS and MSK. AIH~~~~ GROANS.

I don't know, are all those CNS stuff basic ah? Cuz they are so difficult to understand, whats more to prepare it in 3 weeks and must at least do 2 solid rounds before going exams. It sounds so impossible!!! I seriously feel like giving up, turn myself to concentrate on MSK and HI.....but cannot la....i can run away from CNS once, i cannot run away from it for ever right??

Back pain is not helping either. Been having back pain since yesterday.....hopefully tmr will reside la. Please~ Onegaishimasu!!!

okay la...enuf of crapping...better go back to CNS. DAMN!! Tak Habis Habis

Long Time No Post

2008-12-01T17:49:00.002+08:00

Oh well, can't believe that i have never updated my blog here for quite sometime. Hmm. What to do? I am so busy with studies that i lost all my inspirations on writing blogs.

Today, was supposed to be busy as well. At this time, should be in Uni, attending lectures. However, thanx to my back pain, i have to go right home after my PBL. Even sitting in PBL rooms made me feel so painful that i didn't speak much today. I am so sorry, Dr. Shereen and of course, to all my PBL mates.

Actually, planning to close this blog down again. Haha. I don't really like blogspot actually, but sincce most of my friends are using blogspot, thats why i re-open it. So, am i going to stop blogging? No way~ Blogging has already become part os my life, just like writing diaries [come to think about it, my diary is even more pathetic than my blog, since i abandoned it far longer than this blog]. Anyway, its just a plan at the moment.

Ar..Hah....i got a plan. I will decide when the num of post here reach 170. Now is 168....so, by that time i will decide. To those who really read my blog [thank you very much for ur support] Don't worry, i have an URL which will link u to my private blog. Of course, anything private written there will be categorised under Private where unless you are invited by me to become VIP, it is impossible to read the private stuffs. =) So, yes, don't worry, you can still find me whereever i go.

Here is the URL: http://strawberrrykingdome.vox.com/

I Am Just Bored.

2008-11-21T02:46:00.000+08:00

Sigh, as "explained" by the title, I am extremely bored now.

Finished a CNS note and 2 Heamato notes which 3 of them adds up to 11 notes that i had done today. I am planning to finish off one more (parasite mah...finish them off one day, more happy. haha).

Why of this sudden keganasan or enthu of study? Hmm.

Special thanx to
1. My mum, for asking me to go eat McD as tea when we were shopping in Piramid.
2. Myself, for saying wrongly and bought a LARGE coffee instead of medium.
3. Again, my mum, for drinking with me and urging me to drink fast fast and get a new cup of coffee.
4. Still my mum, for urging me to finish off that cup and then get a new cup so i can drink while i am studying tonight. Thanxie, my mum.
5. Last but not least, McD's coffee recipe, for making it so "kau" and i have the energy + Semangat to study THAT much despite of me starting my revision at 9.30pm. Haha. If not, early early i sudah tidur.

No, i am not wide awake. In fact, i feel sleepy. Come on, its already 3am...or UK 7pm. Haha. Suddenly remember the joke that Jackie cracked. I am supposed to chat with him this saturday for the Aberdeen stuff. He told me to chat with with at 7pm, then i asked him "ur 7pm or my 7pm"...and he said "if u want UK 7pm also can, its Msia 3am". Lolz. How do i know the time difference is that big wor??? So ah, now is practising to not to sleep THAT early....so that next time i can argue back "UK 7 pm also can...u tot i sleep before 3am ah?". (okay lo, i memang kiasu-ness.....cannot lose de...)

So......to refrain myself for doing more lame stuff....i think i am going to finish off Babesiosis then go to bed. Nitez Nitez, everyone~ (i doubt who will still be awake except those UK ppl). Lolz.

I SERIOUSLY NEED HOLIDAYS!!

My Dog + Self Esteem.

2008-11-21T00:50:00.000+08:00

Again, after a long study day (not that long actually)....must blog a bit bit. =)

So, i finally tackled 3 long boring CNS notes today, kinda amazed by my own ability and discipline...

Maybe...its the effect of shopping in Sunway Piramid? Hmm. Most probably. Went to SP this afternoon, supposed to "update" myself with the outside world and reward myself with the newest Detective Conan Comic (after being so good girl for....er....more than 1 month?). So, FINALLY realize that Christmas is coming soon. Haha. I never know the shopping malls start to decorate the malls into Christmas feel THAT early. I was "trapped" in a Christmas dream this afternoon. Whole SP is in such Christmas feel that i nearly thought it is going to be christmas in 2-3days time. Not many ppl, although i expect it to be (school holiday mah), perhaps its because its weekday? So, yea, went around, didn't get my comic in the end, cuz the new episode haven't come out yet (i wonder is the author in christmas mood that he is not drawing??). Sigh. Really soooo....looking forward to read something new, something different from Mid Brain, Cerebral Cortex, Pons & Medulla or else Hb, Hct, Red Blood cells, megakaryocyte..etc etc. Never mind, i shall check with the comic shop again next week. Yes, i am going again next thursday....muahaha....WHY ??? cuz...its JUSCO MEMBERS DAY wor....got loads of discounts here and there. Wee~

Found a very good deal in House Of Leather though. A 29" luggage bag + 23" (i think)luggage bag only sells like...RM 399. GOod leh? And, No, the 23" is not the cabin luggage bag (in case u think i study till sot liao), its some sort like the 29" one, just that slightly smaller...and you DEFINATELY cannot bring it up to cabin. The quality...was...so so. I don't really like it since it gives me a Flappy feel, but the shop assistant reassure me it is good quality and the thing looks flappy cuz it is made of Asbestos (OMG, occupational Hazard). It is light( can carry more thing...the only thing that attracts me)and colourful (oh no, im not attracted to the pink colour). Somehow, i still prefer Lojel. It is slightly heavier (about 7kg acc to my mum, but i don't think so)yet good quality and good warranty. Why i said so? Cuz my brother is a very "violent" person...he never takes care of luggage bag, yet the Lojel my mum bought for him since 2nd year Med Year, is still in good condition now (for ur info, he is now last year, 6th Med Year). Maybe....i would still go for Lojel, slightly expensive, but good quality, at least i don't need to suffer any hassle in UK like " wahlao...why mybag got a BIG HOLE??? How to go home with such bag???". =)

So, had fun in Piramid, came back to find my dog stuck under the thai leaf tree (don't ask me why call that tree that name...i didn't name it...someone else does). The tree has LOADS of thorns on it...and my dog is "hidding" underneath it (what a GOOD place for hiding, huh). What worst is that becuz my dog is acting ganasly again, he torn the wire that my mum stuck it tightly to the window (prevent him from torning it open and jump out from the house). Lagi worst is that....my dog hurt his left upper eye lid. I have no idea how he hurt it. All i know is, i found a wet thoroughly, shivering dog with a big red swelling on the left eye lid under the thai leaf tree. So, quickly bath him then dry him and send him to the vet. The "panel vet" (good leh, my dog see vet until got panel vet adi)so ngam not in, and we have a young leng lui vet. She reassure us that nothign is wrong with my dog and she just gave him (my dog la, its a HE)a mood stabiliser which made my dog very "flappy" now. What i meant by flappy is......my dog seems to lost all his motor power, muscle tone and reflex. He only lies on his stomach on the floor and breath unexceptionally loud. sigh. I percuss my dog (yes, dog and human are somewhat similar), releived that he didn't have any pnemothorax or heamothorax. In fact, i cannot find any wound (proably due to the thick fur). All i can find is...a distended bladder. Haha. He is so weak that he cannot even pee and poo. Damn funny. Just lie there.

So, yes. Don't want to type liao. a bit bored with this. My comp a bit lag tonight. Sien.
Below is a test done by me slightly earlier...on self confident. Lolz.
I personally like this phrase" From personal experience, you’ve learned that it’s important for people not to underestimate the quiet one or overestimate the bubbly one." So...CCB, stop saying i am suffering from LOW SELF ESTEEM just becuz i don;t mix with many ppl and don't talk as much as you. you are MANIA adi la. Hahaha.

See yea~

Quiz: Does Your Self-Esteem Need a Makeover?
Result: Fairly Grounded
Your self-esteem seems fairly healthy. You may not think of yourself as someone who has it together all the time, but other people definitely see you in a positive light, and might even envy your disposition. That can sometimes be a burden to a person with an on-again, off-again self-esteem. You may feel that you’re expected to show others that you always earn high marks when it comes to controlling your emotions and handling whatever life dishes out, but it’s truly OK to be vulnerable.

It’s also OK to take credit for the things you have accomplished and for the person you are. Part of a healthy self-esteem is a belief in yourself and your abilities. Don’t chalk your successes up to “just luck” but take the credit when it’s your due – you can still be humble and proud of your achievements at the same time.

What some people may not realize is that self-esteem and personality are not necessarily interchangeable. Someone can be completely outgoing and boisterous and have a low self-esteem. A total wallflower could have a positive self-esteem. While a person’s behavior in social situations is often thought to indicate his or her self-esteem, this isn’t an absolute. From personal experience, you’ve learned that it’s important for people not to underestimate the quiet one or overestimate the bubbly one.

For instance, while others may think of you as having an intact self-esteem, one of your demons may be that you’re someone who occasionally succumbs to the pressures of society regarding physical appearance and monetary assets. And this can seriously inhibit your dating and relationship desires. If you feel that you’re not “good enough,” that will be reflected in your body language, behavior, and words – and, as a result, the other person’s actions are more likely to mirror your own behavior. By staying positive, you can attract positive people and relationships to your life. The goal is not to let cultural codes get you down for long – your self-esteem does not ride on your looks or your bank account. So don’t let a bad hair day get the best of you. There is much more to you than what’s visible (or printed on your bank statement).

Regardless of how your persona pans out, it’s inevitable that we will all experience lows every now and then. Nurturing awareness for your triggers and knowing how to rise above negativity gives you the kind of self-esteem others can only dream of. When you feel yourself dropping lower than you’d like to, take control before things get out of hand – calling an Ask Mars Venus coach to talk things through can help you gain ground and anchor that self-esteem.
The Bottom Line …

Some of the biggest ingredients in feeling good and developing a great self-esteem are maintaining a healthy attitude, taking care of yourself, and treating yourself right both inside and out. Creating a high self-esteem doesn’t have to be an elusive mountain to climb. When you have a good self-esteem, it can waver; when your self-esteem is low, there is still hope for reversing your state of mind. No matter what position you’re in, self-esteem takes effort. Always work to try and distinguish between the big things and the little things you encounter in life – there are definitely some issues that are worth getting worked up about, and others that really don’t warrant your attention and energy.

Back Pain

2008-11-20T00:37:00.000+08:00

Sien...
don't know why feels like haven't been writing for a long long long time.
actually not THAT long, the last post was " born " around 12am Monday...so, till now is like...what...3-4days? Oh wait...that is quite long isn't it?? Haha
Sorry...just being lame. Nothing to laugh about, so must create something lame for myself to laugh.

Going insane soon. Sigh. I think its faster to finish me off with a knife or rope or TNT or whatever....than torture me with the never ending CNS notes. CNS has officially ended yesterday...yet, im still trying to catch up with whatever i left, esp those i missed out during the funerals. Now i know, WHY teachers always tell students not to skipped class, cuz seriously, i don't understand what the notes are talking about....and i spent like what...double the time to understand each line?? Really must read them LINE by LINE!!!

Having back pain now....maybe i sat too long today. One thing i am really relieve is that my revision for EOS is good.....im still quite ahead of others. But i sort of forgotten that before EOS, i need to go tru Summative 5....and i am so not prepared for summative 5. Oh well, i may as well fail it then. Summative 5 consist of 3 systems....so if i only study 2 of them ( maybe MSK and HI?) then i can pass !! WEEEEEE~S~~~ Lolz. My parents will kill me if they know i have this plan.

Sien ah sien~ Why must i spend 3 nice days with notes? I want to go shopping!! I want a good christmas!! I want to eat as much as i could (the notes are really spoilling my appetite) and last but not least....i want a good long sleep. Everyday, i am having problems from pushing my self, getting my ass out from my nice comfy bed. I never have such problem before. Usually is the alarm rang and i SPRANG out from my bed. Haha. Cuz i always estimate ngam ngam time for myself to get myself ready and go to uni mah. So, 1 minute also cannot spend more in bed. But now, i can get up, sit on the bed, switch off my alarm and went back to sleep. OMG!!! I think i need 3 alarms then!! haha.

Saw a news report today saying that females who slept less than 7 hrs per day, even though with good habit of exercising 3 -4times per week has 47% higher risk of getting CVD than those who slept more than 7 hrs perday. So what....i didn't even go exercise 3-4times per week.....and i slept 5-6 hours per day....then i mah have 60% risk of getting CVD?? Gosh....never mind. We are all gona die one day, its just early or late!! Haha. Opimistic leh??

Ouch....really back pain, don't want type liao. I think i need to go lie on bed and.....no....not sleeping yet...study lah~

OMG !!!!!!!!

2008-11-17T00:50:00.001+08:00

OMG OMG OMG~~~~~

What Would You Think When You See THis Girl...

Connie Talbot

And What About This...when you see her

Connie Talbot 2

And this???

Connie Talbot 3

What WOULD YOU THINK?????

Cute Girl?
Pretty Girl?
She Is So Angelic?
Or Maybe...you would say " oh hey...look at the young model......advertising for clothes?"

Now...what i am OMG-ing is....
SHE IS A SINGER~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And trust me....her voice is so ANGELIC~~~
I am having Connie-Talbot Syndrome right now...
The songs she sang were...some very cute kid song eg: somewhere over the rainbow, silent night, i have a dream..

BUt...when she sing "I will Always Love You" by whitney housten......hahaha....a bit cute la....start to think "whalau..what u doing ah...dear little girl....its too early for your age to know all this. "

All in all...very cute and angelic voice she has!! Do try it if you have time.

Before the songs i put up her....below are news on her for you to amazes and start to "insaf"...ppl 6 years old start singing...while we...6 yrs old....are fooling around??????? hahaha

Connie Talbot is a phenomenon, and much beloved around the world for her peerless vocal talent and her heart-warming persona. A normal lovely little girl from the West Midlands, she melts the hardest souls with her angelic voice.

In the past 12 months, Connie has proved that it is possible to grow up as a normal schoolgirl in the UK's West Midlands, whilst promoting her CD's, shooting videos, receiving gold and platinum discs, signing cd's, and appearing on major TV shows across the world! With two Guinness World Records, along with five gold and platinum discs under her belt, it is clear that little Connie Talbot was born to sing!

Connie recently crossed the pond to conquer yet another nation’s hearts! Over the Rainbow was released in the US on October 14th, and went straight into the Billboard Heat Seekers Album Chart at No. 7. Check out her first American television debut as a guest performer on The Ellen DGeneres Show in the video section b

Biography Of her
Connie never had singing lessons of any kind. She learnt naturally through her own karaoke machine, how amazing is this a 6 year old who can sing with the perfect pitch and is cute at the same time? At this point in time she is already being told shes going to be the next charlotte church, and i think we all believe the judges and people who are quoting this.

She wowed both the audience and judges with her amazing perfomance on the ITV show Britans Got Talent, when Simon Cowell said and I quote “Connie I’m going to speak to you like an adult” both connies mum and the audience said “awww”. News and sources over the internet quote that Connie will earn around 1 million pound in the next 12 months.

Simon Cowell the 47 year old pop mogul was so impressed with Connie’s performance that he agreed to sign her up for the seven-figure deal with his own record label. Although all the attention from the press, Connie is still standing firm on her feet.

After progressing to the third of the semi-finals, Connie declined a celebratory restruant dinner, in favour a fish and chip shop tea at there three bedroom home in Sutton Coldfield, with all the family in to including her parents, Sharon & Gavin, 14 year old brother Josh and sister Mollie.

Connie even kept the TV show a secret from anyone outside of the family knowing, even her school teachers and best friends she wanted to “steal the performance”, the first her teachers knew about the television debut staring Connie, was when they watched it themselves. All Connies friends where always talking to Connie in school asking her what it was like on TV.

While Connie is so desperate to take Simon up on his 1million pound contract, Connies mum a part time utility worker is less enthusiatic about letting Connie sign the contract. Connies mum quoted “I’m a big worrier,” she said. She also quoted “I never wanted this attention for Connnie”.

Connies mum Sharon, bought her daughter the karaoke machine because the family was having money troubles and could not afford singing lessons for the daughter, while it all unraveled that Connie only discover she could sing in tragic circumstances, her grandmonther, Violet, was diagnosed with breast cancer.”When her grandma was really ill in bed, Connie used to sing the DVD to the Wizard of Oz to her, to cheer her up.

TOo bad i cannot attach any audio here.....
Or else...trust me....u would love her. Lolz
She is just SOOOO CUTE
never mind...u guys go try sendiri la.

??????

2008-11-15T22:14:00.000+08:00

I wonder what is every one doing. Maybe, you are watching Astro for the TVB ceremony of picking the best actor and actress? It is something like oscar, just that all the dramas are by TVB and of coz, the best actor and actress will be someone acting in the TVB dramas.

Or maybe, having dinner? No, i am not joking, even in Msia, at 10.30pm, there are ppl out there eating dinner. And i am not refering to Msian's who are in Msia now, but Msians who are in India. They are now, erm, about 7-7.30pm? Of course having dinner.

Or maybe, sleeping already? Again, i am not refering to Msian's early sleeper, but the girl in Aussian now. Its about 1am, although judging by her character that she is now either watching her favourite Anime or else trying to suck up as many books for exams.........i still consider the probability of her sleeping at this time.

Or maybe, you are out there...going somewhere....again refering to Jane June far away in Manchester, UK. How i know she is going somewhere? Oh well, cuz i just chat with her in MSN and she told me she has to go out soon.

What am I doing then? I am blogging, when my whole household is nearly destroyed. Just few minutes ago, everyone in my house, of course with the exception of my dog (cuz i didn't go down and see him), yea, everyone was crying. Me, Dad and Mum. 3 of us, crying. Okay, i am not CRYING, but i am...er....sobbing? Tears just trickles down my cheeks and i didn't bother to wipe it cuz i know more would come. Can vaguely hear my dad's screaming from my parents room about 1-2metres away...something about "it's my father who pass away, do you think i know how to deal everything perfectly to suit everyone??" or else "yes yes, i admit, i am no good....i don't know how to deal things...blah blah". Then can also vaguely hear my mum's sobbing, but i can't hear clearly of what she is talking since i didn't bother to go eaves dropping.

Maybe you are a bit confused with what happened? Now, let me tell you, with an additional advice of " do settle misunderstanding as quick as you could and never assume it has settle down". That was what happened. A disaster!!

About a month ago, my grandad was converted to Christian against his wish(again, i am not saying Christianity is no good...and i am not going to offend anyone). He was baptist by the time my family reached my aunt's house in SP. So, yes, there were loads of hoo haa...and pls refer to my earlier posts about it. Finally, my dad and my aunt came to an agreement of leaving my grandad in her house, when he passed away (indeed, our prediction was correct, he did die soon after that), she will have the christian funeral done for him BUT, after cremation, the ashes of my grandad goes to my family. Got it? Very fair and square right?

But when we came back to KL, my dad starts to regret, he feels he never try to "saves" his father from Christianity when his father clearly told him that he wants to come out from Christian and he wants a Buddhist Funeral. So, my mum, fearing that my dad would bang into some cars while travelling JB-KL and KL-JB (yes, my dad works in JB), and of course pity my dad, suggested that my family would bring my grandad down to KL from SP. Oh yes, remember the post where i strongly objected and i still lost? Yes...my grandad was transported down, spent like RM 1500 for the stupid Ambulans (thats the cheapest we can find)....and my grandad passed away in Sungai Buloh Hosp just 2 days after that.

So, everything was packed nicely and my grandad's coffin (with the body la, of cuz) was sent back to Kedah and my dad called my aunt to "report" the death. So, my aunt asked whether the Christiant Funeral is still going to be performed or not and my dad says "No". Feeling a bit guilty and sorry for his own sister cuz he broke the promise, my dad told my aunt that 'you could come pray with ur christian way if you want, it is not in temple, no buddha is there'. Sadly, the last phrase was heard by my mum, she misunderstood thinking that my dad is going to let my aunt perform the christian funeral for my grandad and she went hysterics, screaming and screaming with an extreme high pitch. Then my dad comforted her, saying my aunt won't be doing that...yet she does not believe and "threatens" my dad that she only allow my aunt to come perform whatever christiant funeral (aka singing in my family) for 1 night....if my aunt DARE to come 2 nights, she will really beat my aunt up. *gulp*.

Lucky for both of them, my aunt knows her limits and really came for 1 night only. So, everything went on peacefully and my dad thought my mum had forgotten. After 7th day ceremony, my family depart home with my mum's sister's family ( in case u ask what for they come....they came to took my dearest Honda Civic away). So, during the journey back to KL, someone touched the topic and my dad just said a phrase "we only allow her (my aunt) an hour to perform" (which, is very true) and my mum went angry AGAIN. So quarrel and quarrel and quarrrel, till i cannot tahan and i stepped in saying " mum, you are being ridiculous. Whats wrong with 2nights when you are READY to give ppl 1 night? Does it make a diff?? Is it not better for grandpa? In case the buddhist heaven don't allow him in, there is an alternative way and by singing more to him, the chances of him able to get into christian heaven is more right?" . So, whatever i said are sensible (at least to me, sorry if i offended someone about saying christianity as alternative way). But, what did i get?? My mum stared boo-hooing and cried, pointing her finger at me, saying that i side my dad. And to make things worst...my aunt (mum's sister that aunt)stood up for my mum pointing that my dad and i are siding my aunt (dad's sister) and are not appreciating what my mum had done. I seriously feels like wacking and slapping her face hard and sound.
*piece of advice: do not start telling ppl ur opinion when you don't know the full story but had only listen to the story from one party. Esp in family matter...shut ur mouth, you can start a BIG fire and then put fats into it to make it a even more FIERCE fire.

So, nothing happened, everything went peacefully, my dad went to JB and i went back to IMU. Whole week was fine, my mum and i were in talking status again, except that she was unexceptionally tired. She can go to bed at 8.30pm and sleep till 9am in the morning for 2 consequetive days. I thought she was really stressed out...so i let her sleep on.

Things start to shows again yesterday night, yep, FRIDAY, when my dad came back from JB. She show her black face, quickly settle her dinner and went to bed. My dad was "used" to this and me, was even more "used" since i got this kind of "treatment" more than my dad and lately, my mum had been doing this "facial expression" quite frequent lately.

My dad and i really thought everything would be fine today. But No. This morning, i was awaken by quarrels AGAIN. So i lazy to deal with them..i went back to sleep, totally ignore them. Woke up at 10.30 to find a black face dad and he told me that mum refuse breakfast. Oklo, both of us went and da pao something for my mum. Whole afternoon, my mum was in bed........non of us dare to go kacau her.....if by sleeping, she can soothes her anger, let her sleep la. But, when my dad went to see her in the evening, he found bottles of beer lying right beside her and instantly, my dad was so furious and quarrels starts AGAIN.

and yep...the rest of the stories...were already told.........

now, everything are peaceful and quiet. I wonder what would tmr be. A good day? or a bad day? i didn't bother to step in just now when both parties were crying cuz i think by crying and quarrelling, both parties can understand each other better and i don't want to show that i side whoever.....although i clearly know who is the right side.

Hopefully...tmr would be okay. Or even better if today...is just a DREAM, a NIGHTMARE. Comeon...i think my theta wave is enough...i should wake up!! Nah...i just pinched myself and i feel pain. Whole thing isn't a night mare...and i can still smell beers on my clothes...in the living room and kitchen.

Would love and happiness NEVER come to my house? Isn't it time for them to come now? We had been having so many troubles lately.....do come soon!!

I have 2 weird thoughts during the crying session,

1. if by dying can settle the whole thing, i rather sacrifice myself and die to stop both of them quarrelling.
2. If that is what family would be....if that is what family would bring....i would rather be a bacholar for my WHOLE life. I don't want a BF, i don't want a husband and i don't want a family. Or maybe....i could just adopt? Or maybe....i could just have a pet dog and end of story!

I am.....really....having SOB now...i never know i has asthma. Or something is wrong with me?

心力交瘁..

2008-11-15T18:42:00.000+08:00

平生中第一次那么累！

Wanted to use chinese to type out everything...but since the google pin yin i dl has problems...never mind, i shall stick to english then.

I am seriously very tired now. Not only physically tired but also mentally tired. I don't know why all these have to happen. You know, i had been trying very hard to catch up in CNS, in whatever i had missed out during the whole funeral. This whole week, i haven't been sleeping much. Everyday slept at 1/2am then wake up at 6 or latest 6.30am. Then study study and study is my life.

So i was actually looking forward to some...relaxation...or at least peacefulness during the weekend. But no, my parents just have to quarrel. yea, HAVE TO QUARREL. I don't know who should i blame. My dad? For not dealing with my aunt properly during the funeral...and made my mum misunderstood as if he is more "close" to his own sister than his own wife. Or should i blame my mum?? For thinking so far and deep....for creating all the problems today....for starting the quarrel and not wanting to forgive even my dad had said sorry. Or should i blame myself? Yea, i think i should. Why had i not stepped in? Oh wait...i did stepped in and said something to break the misunderstanding about a week ago...and end up what did i get? Being accused of "favism", standing on my dad's side. Oh duh......fine, i don't want to step in anymore...and now they quarrel again.

I start to understand...you know...as how the children in Pendidikan Moral feels when they have a not happy family? They tend to rebel....they tend to ponteng...they tend to lie...they tend to do whatever things that can make the household even more unhappy. You know... i actually understand how the kids feel...cuz thats what i want to do that now. Whats the point of me studying hard now? Whats the point of me going Aberdeen? Whats the point of me becoming a doctor? Nothing....i don't see any advantages for me....i only see suffering and suffering for me right now.

I am so tired right now...can anyone save me from this sufferings? I have to squeeze a smile when i see my dad......have to console him and say "its okay...let mum be alone...she will be fine in no time". Then when i see my mum lying in the bed, refuse to wake up for the whole day...and getting worst by starting to binge drink........-sigh-.

Just got back from dinner...and she got herself a bottle again.......although my dad kept all his beers dowstairs...she still wake up and get a beer herself. I really don't know what to do wih her. Will problems solved just by binge drinking?? Will they solved all by themselves? And i don't know...somehow...i feel....she got the sleeping pills....i kept it behind a secret place and just now i saw the thing moved slightly to the front.......means she got some pills or i am just being paranoid? Hope i am just being paranoid.

Tonight won't be a good night for me. I don't think i will sleep...i will stay awake and see whether anything wrong happens or not.

Why would she want to use this to settle problem?? Why can't just sit down and talk?? Must one of them die then only she will treasure of what she has now?? If really someone need to die to wake her up....then let me be the one........i really no eye see.....i rather go away!!

-sigh-

..Sien..

2008-11-13T21:46:00.000+08:00

When ppl is bored.......ppl starts to do...something...haha...weird!!

Oh yes, the ppl here = Me.

I had started studying a little bit earlier today (cuz i enjoyed the whole afternoon so must torture myself a bit in the evening). So, i was..erm...still at the 1st page of Dr. Anne Tay's lecture note...when i did something unbeliveable. Haha.

Why unbelievable? Well...cuz i never done this in my whole life...and i blame it on...~~Dr. Anne's notes.~~..the laziness in me...haha.

So, what had i done?? Erm...haha....so, my study table or rather my brother's study table (cuz i conquered his room ever since he went back to Ukrain) is situated next to a cupboard. Nothing wrong with placing it beside the cupboard....but the problem is....the cupboard has a full length MIRROR attached to it. And i would see myself just by turn my head to my LEFT. So, what i did was....you know, a bit obsessed with the mirror. Haha. No, not trying to see whether im the ~~last~~ beauty in the whole world or trying to make comical faces to amuse myself......but......haha.....i stare at my face at the mirror and suddenly shriek " OMG....why got something on my chin?? Red red and pain pain de??? Sei lo...not pimples gua??"

OKay...those who knows me would laughed (i hope!! Well done for knowing me so well), cuz i never care about pimples in my whole life...in fact...i am so called a member from the "lucky group" who really not have much ACNE ever since i step into puberty. Even if i have....it would be small small..painless and would resolve in 2-3days. Good right? Don't jealous la yea!! Haha.

So again.......i am blaming on the boring ~~notes~~ study schedule i have ...thats why i am acting so not me!!

Hehe...okay.....got to go. PLAY GAMES!! hehehe. NEOPETS NEOPETS...HERE I COME~~

Se-rem-BUN Hospital

2008-11-12T21:21:00.001+08:00

You know...sometimes......when you got so fed up with life....or just too tired...you tend to be lame. Haha. No wen chung..im not saying you are too tired or fed up with life....You and Ramzi are diff cases...lolz.

Yes, i am just nothing better to do. There are so many things out there lying around (my room is a total mess now...looks more like the garbage collecting centre)...waiting and shouting for me to start working....but....aih...i am very tired la!! Do LEave me alone!!

Today, last SeremBUN hosp visit........i just can't help thinking back the 1st time i step foot into that hosp. Haha. So innocent and was really READY to work. Wahsei...can't believe i was so innocent by then!! Somehow, when time goes on......the Enthu just wears off....and going there starts to become something annoying, probably cuz my shirt would be fully soaked with sweats after about 1hr being there and i have to hold on to that yucky feeling till i reach home??

But then...today....feels sort of...sad, to leave Seremban Hosp. I got a very good Dr. to complete the final touch of my Seremban Hosp Visit memories. Guess who i got?? *chang chang chang*....i got Dr. Tai. Yes...the one that came yesterday to give lecture on ...er...what was the topic again?? oh..Coma and Brain death (sorry la...brain not functioning well). He was very nice throughout the whole thing...even if i gave stupid + wrong answers....he didn't say anything. If i got some others...i would had got a big blast?? Haha. The session was quite long...took almost 2hours....yet it was very good and productive. I really learnt a lot

So.....yes....that conclude my last SeremBUN hosp visit..haha. Now.....EOS is approaching me step by step.....and soon....the whole batch would fly diff directions. Sometimes, i do wonder....would we still call all of us A BATCH ...say.....7yrs later? Or we have blend in with the "angmohs" so well that we take them as batchmates respectively?? I don't know...and i know it is very useless to think of such question right now.

Okay la.....got to see my dear notes......dear dear dear!!

p/s: Jian Min, if you are reading this...thank you for stalking me!! hahaha. I wonder how you got my blog URL!! You gave me such a shock when you told me that you read my blog.

to the rest...don't worry.....you all are reading freely and i will not so PERASAN-LY say you are stalking me...just him...haha...i purposely want to kacau him nia

Funeral and Etc

2008-11-11T00:02:00.000+08:00

Finally back from the funeral. Today is the 7th day since my grandpa passed away (consider the day he passed away as the 1st day). Today is also supposed to be the day where he would "come back" to visit all of us according to the customs and believes. Scared? Oh no....not at all. I'm actually waiting...cuz i know, if he do come back to see me, it would be to scold me like hell and i am ready for being scolded. Lolz.

These few days...were hard days for me. Not only physically but also mentally. I am really worn off...very very worn off. Yet, that wouldn't be an excuse for me. Life goes on, i have to catch up with whatever i missed. The earth won't stop travelling even if my grandpa had passed away.

Speaking of the funeral, i got quite a number of pictures...yet, forgive me for not uploading tonight, i am just too tired. Give me few days, to heal my broken heart and to regain my physical stamina.

So, about the funeral, i don't know how many are interested in listening, but, i shall write as something for me to remember in future. So, yes, on Tuesday Morning, 2 days after transporting my grandpa all the way from Sungai Petani Kedah to KL Sungai Buloh Hospital, while having breakfast with my parents, my dad got a phone call from Hosp. According to him, the msg was " come to hospital quick, your father is not in a good condition". Indeed, he wasn't in a good condition. He is already in unconcious level when my parents and China Aunt reach the hosp.

I did not follow my parents.....instead, i went home, study renal. But i did asked whether i should go or not.....my dad told me that it wasn't so critical that i should waste time in Hosp. So, yes, i stayed at home and went to PBL. Everything was okay....i mean PBL.....starts off with Parkinson..blah blah....till the PBL1 of the next trigger,,,,,,halfway tru it...i got sms from my mum saying " grandpa just passed away". I was stunned. I don't know what Praveena and the gangs said from then onwards. All i know is " he died...how could he had died? Dr. say he might die today, tmr or maybe next week or next month. I wasn't expecting him to die today...how could he had died?". So yea...i was so quiet whole PBL....till....Praveena notices. Thanx Praveena, for paying attention to me. =) Then i talked to praveena whether i can change the photo session to next week........and somehow my mouth slipped saying that i have to attend a funeral. Kwan picked that up fast and asked me whose funeral that i am going. And you know what....i IGNORED him. I am so sorry kwan!! Really Sorry. I scared i just burst into tears if i tell you....and i seriously don't want to cry infront of everyone.

So, after PBL, i went LIBRARY. Lolz. Of all places, i picked LIBRARY??? Oh well, i didn't go home, cuz my mum wants me to stay on for the next lectur by DKW. So, i went to library, picked few books useful for PBL and borrowed it. Then, i went to a small place.....hide myself....and secretly start thinking of the bad things i did to my grandpa. Oh boy, i was really sad down the drain. So, when i went to Lecture...i really was sad and at the edge of crying. Everything was fine, i was able to hold my head up...smile to everyone....acted as though nothing had happened...........till...i wrote on the photograph session paper saying that i cannot make it since i have a funeral to atttend. AND....RAMZI saw it and asked me. But i ignore him again....i am so sorry. I hear you....i know what you are going to ask...but i don't know how to tell you peacefull with a smile hanging on my face. So, i wrote on a paper when i stabilize my mood and let Ramzi know.

Soon, after lecture, CCB got to know the news accidentally. Lolz. I bet he would never expect such answer. He asked " so, how was ur grandpa ah?" then i said " how? die adi lo...how?" He was stoned. lolz. Real good time to take a snap...but aiya, didn't get a camera that time.

Went home after that...........and sadly...when i reached home, i was just on time....to see the coffin car drive out from my home with my mum and dad crying. My china aunt went with the car, holding a joy stick (another chinese tradition). I really don't know how to react. I felt like crying. Every one there were staring at me. Everyone = the workers from the buriel services. They looked at me, thought i am someone renting a room from the land lord....or else someone who is not connected to the deceased. Sigh. Then, my mum saw me...and blasted me "why didn't you come back earlier?? the car just drive off". I was so bad mood that i shouted at her " traffic jam mah, you tot i want ah?". Then i went to shift my dad's car which was parked some distance away. Once i close the car door.....tears start trickling down my cheek. I hold on to the stering and cried. I missed him....just by a step.....why no one wait for me??? Why he didn't wait for me in hosp and now he didn't wait for me to depart!!! WHY WHY WHY?? I remember slapping the steering till my hand is so painful and started sms CCB and my US Aunt. Sorry...to disturb u all. U 2 are the 1st on my recent contact list.

So, after all the hustle bustle....packing up my books, my clothes...blah blah...oh and washing my hair again (cuz 5days cannot wash hair...again, chinese custom, don't ask me why)....finally, my family departed back to Kedah. My dad was having a black face that time. Well, cuz he was expecting to depart 30mins after the coffin car departed...but end up....cuz i have to run abck to IMU to return book (thanx CCB for helping me to send the book up to library) and met few traffic jam, end up, we reached highway at 8pm. SIGH.

Whole journey was quiet.............till Sungai Perak where my parents quarreled so badly that my mum scream and scream and scream. Sorry..family matters...i shall not reveal here. I don't know how to save them.....so i sms my brother in Ukrain to call back. but he only make things worst at 1st....my mum scream again...like a banshee.....scream.....till she got tired and sleep. Phew. Dam scary. But later, when she calm down, my brother talked to her and she was okay again.

We reached Padang Sera Siam Temple (aka Siam Wat) at 12.30 am. Don't ask me where is it....all i can say is......somewhere near perlis, at the border of perlis and kedah. More north than Jitra but more south to Kangar (ignore me if u don't understand). Imagine, 12.30am, in a small village......where everyone sleeps at 10pm............in such a HUGE temple.....where darkness surrounded it as though going to engulf it.................whole place was so quiet, only sound that you can hear is a bug call "cangkerik" was singing happily. " kweek kweek kweek kweek kweek" was what heard. It was more than scary okay!! To make things worst.....the place where is the coffin is going to be set is at the place where all cremation will be done. (theres a BIG empty space infront of the 3 stoves....and the coffin is to be set there). AND...worst still...next to the place.....is where ppl put the deceased ashes. OMG!!! Not one or 2....okay...but FULL BUILDING!!! Somewhat the size of out lecture hall in IMU. OMG. Damn scary!! And yes, that was the place where i spent 5days there.

The coffin car haven't reach the temple when we reach. We were kinda surprised since the car left about 2 hrs earlier....but of coz la...my dad speeds like hell....so...haha. Again, kinda surprised to see few of my relatives already there, sitting in a small group chatting, supposed to receive the coffin 1st....but...haha...receive us 1st pulak.

So yea, after about an hr plus....finally, the coffin car came....and the burial service man set it up..............and i finally saw my grandpa. I feel coldness down my back when i see him in the coffin, nicely sealed up. Lolz. I don't know its because of the place...or im not used to seeing him in coffin. Haha.

1st night was a very hard night for me. I am sleepy....very sleepy...but i don't want to sleep on the floor next to the coffin or worst infront of the stove where...thousands or hundred thousands of ppl being cremated there. haha. End up....till a point where im so tired that i can hardly open my eyes, i went into the car and sleep like nobody's business. Haha. Whole night, i didn't have a good sleep cuz of the small recorder thing which sings "namo amitabha" till my dream also got ppl saying that verse. So i keep waking up and sleep again, wake up and sleep again....goes on. So, at 6.30am...geng leh, 1st time i wake up so early when i don't have classes to attend. Change clothes...and the day starts.

1st day was very quiet. Too quiet till my parents were afraid that there aren't going to be able ppl coming to pay my granpa last respect. So, my mum decided to put a big orbituary on local newspaper...as big as she can afford on 2 newspaper summore. Ouch, cost about RM 2000 okay...and non of them is half page size. Sigh. Then we all started waiting.....wait for ppl to come...........and only few close relatives came. NIght falls.....and the 1st day's ceremony started with the monk chanting. So...kneel infront of the monk...bang my head 3 times....then continue kneeling while the monk chant and till the monk stop, we bang head again for several times....and then we swap to another cermony pulak. Haha. This time...again, buddhist ceremony....where we pray to the 3 god in buddhist...and start chanting with the whole buddhist society (got book one la...i know, i am not buddhist...and i know u all going to ask how i chant when i don't know anythign? hehe). Wah...all i can say is....the buddhist society ppl are damn LONG GAS lo. Lolz. Didn't get it??? MEANST CHEONG HEI la. They can chant very very very very very very very fast, non stop...no need to breath!!! I bet their lung volume must be extremely big!! Haha. Then finish chantting....we walk in a line, circling the coffin......again, chanting while we walk......for about 10rounds if im not mistaken. And...etc etc etc. Tonigaku ( means...all in all in Jap), the whole buddhist ceremony took about 1.5 hrs (monk is about 30mins and the buddhist thing is about 1hr). Oh yeah, 1.5 hr not big deal right?? Just that it causes raised intracranial pressure of mine..making me having severe headache nia. Lolz. By the time everything ended....i really feel like dying adi. DAMN TIRED.

p/s: i feel like sleeping again....continue tmr!! so tired ~

Good Bye

2008-11-04T18:40:00.001+08:00

Good By Grandpa
Sorry if i ever say I hate u
I never Meant it
I was just angry
And
Now only i realize
The more i Hate
It only shows that the more i Care

I said before that i shall not cry for you
Yet I had been crying since the way back from Uni
I was so shocked when i get the news
That i don't know what the rest were talking in PBL

Good Bye....
I shall miss u!!

I missed u by a step, the coffin car drive out from the house, when i just step in...
but, no fear,
I will see u in Kedah Few Hours time....

*note: yes, im going for a 5 days funeral.....in case anyone thinking im MIA.

Death

2008-11-04T12:44:00.001+08:00

Ever waited someone to die? Not wishing him to die faster that kind of "wait" but...knowing he is dying soon...and is waiting for the moment to approach u bit by bit?

This is what i am doing now........

Yup, i am not lying...and i don't see the need of me lying.

My grandpa went into unconciousness this morning, for some unknown reason.....and the doctor said he is "leaving" soon, how soon?? Maybe today, maybe tmr, maybe 2 days later or 3 days later or a week or a month. No one knows when is he going to pass away...but it is certain that he won't be living for long.

My mind is in a total mix state. I don't know what i should do, i don't know what i should think. I have to go Uni, i have to go study, i have to do PBL i have to practice CSU. Sounded like i don't care for him a tuppence right? I guess that is what i can do now!!

-sigh-

Nothing to write..........got to go uni adi.

Hyper

2008-11-03T00:08:00.000+08:00

I feel like writing...
Yet i don't know what to write..

My brain is hyperactivity
Yet i don't know what im thinking off

I am in such a dilemma.

For the 1st time,
the happiness of me getting Aberdeen has finally been wiped off
I feel the sadness
I feel the anxiety
And i can even feel the Denial state in my brain
If it is not BS lecture keep running in my head
"1st emotion for patient and family member is DENIAL"
I would have gone into the protective Denial state now

I regretted.
Why i never took a photo with him when he was well
When he still can takes photo with us
When i has the chance...
esp when we took him back all the way from China
He was well by then...
It would be such GREAT memories now,
IF i had taken the photo.

Tonight
Is going to be a sleepless night
For my family.
Dad would be drinking till morning
Mum would be thinking non stop in hosp
And
I, would be in guilt + Regret for whole night

Ignore me...
If i not able to concentrate in lecture tmr...
I will be fine soon.
I need some time to think it all over
To make myself
LEARN that I AM NEVER TO ANGRY AND HATE someone
Cuz when one day
They gona Die
I will regret and live in GUILT.

I really need to learn

Diagnosis

2008-11-02T23:57:00.000+08:00

Yes.
My family had spent RM 2K to fetch my grandpa back all the way from SP (not sunway piramid, duh, its Sungai Petani)
In case ur geography is THAT bad...Sungai Petani is actually in Kedah...

So, we rented an Ambulans, brought him back...
Sent him to Hosp Sungai Buloh (very good and new Hosp)
And we brought grey hairs to quite a num of doctors....
Lolz.
No one found anything....
Everything is normal.
Even the BP is Text Book figure 120/80 (i wonder how he acheived that)

Now, the diagnosis is out...
finally...
A female doctor found it (a tick to Female!! hehe)
A bad prognosis esp with his old age.....extreme old age if u want me to specify.

-Sigh-

I must blame myself
Why i had not suspected anything?
When he aren't able to eat..
When he vomited.
All these are signs
They are so clear
Right infront of my eyes
Using CCB words,
They are crying :" pick me pick me, i am the correct diagnosis"
Esp with pain when i palpate his stomach
Yet i did not picked them up

I am such an asshole
I am such a failure

I need to learn....

Nothing can be done now...
Except to wait...
for a funeral to proceed.

I Am sorry....
If i ever said i hate you
I am sorry
If i ever treated u badly
I am sorry
Sincerely sorry
A late sorry
I know,

Somehow, all the hatred cancels off each other.
I have no idea why..
and Is too tired to think why...

I think im going to bed
Bed is the only place where i feel happiness surrounding me
In my dream
I am what i want to be
I am what i think i must be
I am Happy to the very least

p/s: No, im fine, please do not start calling me. I am fine. Sometimes, i just want to be alone...let me think of all my sins.....let me be all by myself.

I GOT IT!!!! YAY!!!

2008-10-31T01:04:00.000+08:00

Oh Yeah...I WON!!!
Hahaha. I know i had send ALL of u sms on this...but still, i really can't stop myself from blogging this happy stuff....esp after such sad things had happened to me.

Now, later will let u all see the "process" of me opening the result k. Well, a bit of intro 1st. My lecture ends early today......surprisingly, maybe the lecturer knew we are going to take result, thats why "fang sui"...haha, end 30mins early. Well, as usual, my batch is such a ~~kiasu~~ anxious batch, most of them...no infact, ALL of them except few "lost kittens" ran to the Academic Affairs. So Chen Yi and I, not wanting to rush with them......we sat in lecture hall...i went toilet swing swing a while...come out met Keng Seng, chat chat a while....then go back into lecturer hall, find the clothes i lend to the gals for the Bachellor and Bachellorettes contest....finally, baru walk out of lecture hall. Haha. I really no gan cheong at all ler.

So, chen yi and i walked to Academic Affairs at 2nd floor...expected to find a deserted hallway or...at least....a deserted queue line......but OMG!!! FULL of peoples...not only those Kepos one but also those queuing for result. Quote some of them " i kepo only, i seremban de" or " no la, i memang kepo, i BMED Science de". Haha. Someother peoples were screaming, shreaking, shouting (whatever word u want to use) and some i can see with disappointed face. Anyway, we lined up.......as the last few person....hahaha. Wait wait wait.....midway, chenyi and i already KNOW she is going to get Glasgow since Glasgow is one of the uni that has "extra places" hahaha....not full wor, if u 1st choice, sure GIVE you de. And finally Ms Haslinda asked for my ID num and gave me my enveloped.

I didn't even bother to check the envelope, chuck it into my file...and PRETEND i am one of those Kepo people and walk out of that DANGEROUS area, into CSU. Haha. Maybe i look like im going to eat people, or maybe from my puffy eyes ppl think i got disappointment, or maybe i really look so innnocent till people think i memang is seremban de........no one actually ask me. Haha. By the time i reach CSU only i realize "eh, chen yi leh??" to just nice see her walked past CSU to canteen. haha. Only i realize...oh yea hor...only 10.20am....CSU practice at 11am.

So, sit in canteen...super fan...all people chatting about matching matching and matching. Who get where...who don't get where....who going with who....who don't want to go with who...blah blah blah...made me so so so "fan" and feverish. End up, i stood upat 10.50 and tell chen yi that i MUST go home....i am having Fever. Chen Yi laughed at me...saying that i refuse to open....and BEFORE i opened also i fever adi....what will happened after Open leh??

Well, i didn't bother la..just walk away...and so ngam, while i grab my phone from the table, i got Yun's sms. Haha. I was like "har? wat talking u......want call me can call me now la". Lolz. Anyway...yea, i brought my result home...shut myself in the room....."xin li jian se" (phscho building??), calm myself....and....

Chang Chang Chang.....

Let the photos do the talking !!

*gulp* swallowing my excessive saliver......haha

So haha...finally check is my name and correct ID.
Then...
breath Breath Breath and Breath.....
I will not cry for whatever result i get...
I will go any country that is given to me...

and then i open...

What the hell....why End there?? Why fold the letter la....
cheh...
*gulp*
swallow excessive saliver again...haha

and unfold the letter

I see the "A" of Aberdeen.....
I screamed!!
hahaha....
then i tot i too blurr adi...
so...i look closely.........

YES!!! Indeed it is Aberdeen, UK!!!
Whoo hoooo~~~
I want to JUMP!!!
I want to hug ppl!!
I want to scream even more

*sorry to my neighbours for hearing a Banshee shouting in the middle of the day!! haha

Then i thought...maybe this is not mine...
I went to check again....

Oh yes,...its correct...my name and correct ID....

Then i thought....maybe something wrong?? Who knows other year also has the same person
having
Same Name
Same Id??
Then i mah Cham??

SO went to check again....

Oh yes...it OCTOBER 2008....
Yes, its my batch, M206...takkan there is 2 yr of 2008 and 2 batch of M206??

but...
what about the purpose of this result???
Maybe its not MATCHING....
Maybe is PREMATCH nia leh???
I mah happy for nothing????

So, quick quick go check again...

Oh yes...IT IS MATCHING...not PREMATCH...
Means...
ITS ALL REAL!!
I AM GOING TO ABERDEEN!!!
YES!! I AM LEAVING ON APRIL
WHAT I HOPE FOR...
IS REAL!!
I WON THE FIGHT!!!

So, must do what leh???
Of coz...quick quick take few photos of myself la...

Nah...
My leng leng photos....hahaha

Hehehe

Again, hehehehehehehe

Last but not least...

Still hehehehehe

lolz....enuf of my leng leng photo...later u all say i SS.

really....last point...
IMU finally decided to use good quality envelope...
the envelope ah..prevent other ppl opening up ur letter...
once open cannot stick back adi...
not like last time...can stick back punya...
hahahaha

High Quality leh???
No way of sticking back de lo..lolz

Okie la...
hope u all are happy with me and for me!!!
=)

Disappointed

2008-10-28T21:36:00.001+08:00

I don't know whats gone into my dad's mind. He wants to bring my grandpa back all the way from SP to KL.

Oh, i forgotten that i didn't let u all see how my grandpa looks like now. give me a minute!

THis is how my grandpa looks like....
on 27th March, right after my birthday

And Now, taken last Sunday.

My dad called just now, told my mum that he cried while he was driving. He really cannot make it by leaving my grandpa there in SP when my grandpa thought he is still in KL. I don't know what is the significant of my grandpa being disoriented with time and place that my dad has to be so taken into heart and insist that to bring my grandpa back.

What about me? What about my mum? Has he asked us whether we are willing to take him? Has he asked us whether we want to bring him back? has he asked us whether we want to take k of grandpa? Dad will be going to JB working....while WE , my mum and I....are the one going to sufferm take k of the old man, not to say the poor old man, being carried so far away from Kedah to KL.

Waste money, waste effort. I really think my dad is being so stupid right now. Why must he think so deeply and get so taken up by his stupid ~~idiotic~~ mind? Is that the best for my grandpa? Or he wants to kill my grandpa and ends everything? I think the last would match his intention better although subconciously, he didn't know what will happen after his stupid ~~idiotic~~ decision.

Imagine, the poor old man...who suffers even just by lifting him up to feed him and change his diapers......suffers, pant, sweat and feels horrible...........has a son who wants to bring him back...just because his son take his disorientated mind so deep into heart. And...just because, his son......wants to give him a buddhist funeral and couldn't believe his own daughter aka the son's sister.....cannot believe the promised made by her that after the Christian Funeral, she would give us the ashes. He couldn't believe her....so now, he must torture his own dad.

Very good. Extremely Good. Bravo!! I wonder what grandpa did to you, dad, in past life that you HAVE to INSIST on torturing him in this life....esp when he is dying soon.

and, what did i do in past life, that you HAVE to torture me as well?
I said, if he is back, i will be out. I have no time to take k of grandpa and u AGREED with me. You said i am to concentrate on exams, the rest, will be settled by mum and you. You ~~asshead~~ talk crap la, u will be leaving poor mum alone doing all the nasty job and you will be free and easy in JB working. You have a free mind, free heart then.....you did what you WANT to do. But mum and i? Have to suffer!!! What kind of father are you?

Mum told me just now, i am to shift out from the house if i cannot tahan. Oh yes...i will shift out....good. Now the daughter, who has no surviving skills...who has no one else to depend on, has to move out to make way for the old man when he is resting well...and doing quite well in his own daughter's house. GOod for you, mum and dad. I hate you all. I had you too, grandpa. You thought i don't want to move out? I would....if there is someone to rent me a room in Vista for just 2 months. I would go as far as possible. I wouldn't want to stay with u all, such selfish person.

Oh, and thanx to you too, the hateful, stupid , foolish, brainless, pig brain, selfish, idiotic (no im not going to cancel the idiotic word) aunt....thanx for making my life such a mess.....thanx for creating all the problems. What induce you to pull poor old man into christianity? Jesus Christ? Oh good.................i hope he can settle everything right now. I hope he can bring back my peaceful life no matter what he do.........

Has anyone think about me? ME? THe daughter of the family?? ME?? ME?? ME?? If you never want to think of me...why give birth to me at the 1st place? you should have aborted me when you know that yyou got pregnant and you had been taking so many drugs. Then everything will be CLEAN and easy. I don't need to suffer, and you don't need to think where to move me out. I AM LEAVING M'SIA SOON. Has anyone think what if i got TB from the old man and the country just push me out of the way?? What is going to happen to my future? Has anyone THINK for me??? My future? The old man is going to live for another 1yr to the max....but me...i am only 20 this year, i have at least 50yrs more to go, has anyone think of my future? Whats the point of me working so hard...........just to get out from the country?? POINTLESS!!! I DON"T SEE WHY SHOULD I PASS EOS 5 now.

I HATE EVERYONE!! I HATE YOU, DAD. I HATE YOU SINCE I WAS YOUNG, Grandpa, for not liking me, for biasm, for not ever having me in ur eyes and for creating this BIG problem and push my life into disaster now. You think i am going to help find an ambulans to shift you from SP? No way...you wait la. I am not going to DO ANYTHING FOR YOU ANYMORE!!! NO MORE. I HAD GIVEN TOO MUCH TO YOU.....AND IM GOING TO STOP BEING SO STUPID. I HATE YOU, STUPID AUNT. No, not aunt....BUT OBASAN. WHy do i have to suffer all this? What harm had i done to you all??

Great...i should go find a room for myself to spend in the next 2 months. Anyone fancy taking me up? sighz

Proper Food Sanitation

2008-10-21T23:05:00.001+08:00

Ever tasted a cockroach? Summore after boiling it for 2 days that type???

OMG!!!

1. How do cockraches tasted like? Hard? Soft?
A: Nah, i didn't get to BITE it (really thankful), but you know, the soup tasted the same, taste exactly how it should taste, just....a bit more tastier i guess. Haha. Extra Protein.

2. How do cockroaches look like after being boiled 2 days?
A: Surprisingly, they didn't melt or disappear. In fact, they remain same, of outer structure, num of legs...body colour....just a bit oily la.....

3. Is there any side effects after consuming them? or rather the soup cooked WITH them?
A: well......yes, come to think about it, i had been having loose stools for 1 day. I thought i was over stressed and not having enough sleep. ....but..unfortunately, it turn out to be........

4. How did the cockroaches end up in the soup?
A: i don't know.........ask my mum *look at her*

So enough of syok sendiri-ing........
Yup, i just found out that i had a soup...to be exact, noodle's soup cooked with cockroaches. And, the BEST thing is...IMAGINE having it since Sunday night.....then Monday night, Monday Supper, Today's dinner....and luckily i haven't consume today's supper and i found it!!!Wah lao...

I seen something brownish black "swimming" in the soup yesterday (by the way, it was prawn mee), i thought it was some prawn head in the soup since i failed to find it in the soup after stiring for quite some time. So happily.......i ate few meals.....got loose stools without knowing i ate something not so clean........and just now, after i reheat it.......just as i scoop up the 1st scoop of soup.....i saw one BIG FAT cockroach.........

i feeeeeellllll So like SCREAMING!!!!

No, i am not scared of cockroach....i just feel it very disgusting and dirty.....I want to shout, again, not because im scared....but because i consumed so much of "cockroach essense". This time EOS sure A adi....hahaha....people drink Chicken Essense, i drank Cockroach Essense. Hahahahaha. Can't believe that i actually have the mood to joke about this.

I have no idea how the 2 kawan / husband and wife/ sisters/ brothers/ sister & brother/ cousins/ father and son/ mother and daughter/ father and duaghter/ mother and son.....whatever.....how they get in the soup. I asked my mum...but she said she close the lid properly.....so who is lying right now???? *wink wink* no need i say....also know. OF COZ not me la....and there is only a dog and my mother in the household.........so....

yes...my dog is the culprit.....my dog forgot to shut the lid after eating a big bowl of prawn noodle!! SWT!!!

Oh well..........nothing else to say la...
Byebye...
Haha...damn random la me...

See ya~

Updates?

2008-10-19T02:50:00.000+08:00

Sorry....won't be updating soon...

CNS is really Killing me!! haha....

Too busy....
and

come to think about it...

I have nothing to write about too...unless u want me to talk about brain, the descending ascending tracts, the cavities, the cranial nerves, Guillain Barre syndrome, multiple sclerosis....

Lolz.

never mind...ignore me,
im just being lame!!

See ya~

Tagged~~

2008-10-05T22:43:00.000+08:00

Okay…some stupid guy (no need me say) tagged me…..ish !! So loooooonnnnnnnggggggg !!

1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING?

Nope, unless u count the one my mum gave me….sort of pass down in my family…but must give back m kak ipar later

2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP?
…..NIL….

3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
RM50 by my aunt?

4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE?
Oh YES…who don’t duh? I think less than 5 times la..

5. WHAT’S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
Yesterday? Must exercise ler…holidays eat too much. haha

6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?
Sing K, Handphone, Go out for meals with friends

7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE?
Thai Tomyam Beehoon in Puchong

8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE/SAME SEX?

Same Sex: Overall look, as in maybe the dress or blouse and trousers of the day

Diff Sex: Barely notice them…unless they call me…..take 2 close friends as example….hmm..maybe their face?

9. ONE FAVORITE SONG?
Hmm…change faster than a weather, a week ago is Love Song King..haha…but i always like the song ” Miracles Happen”

11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED?

SMJK Katholik, PJ. Love that school despite of the tight dicipline.

12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER:
Maxis

13. FAVORITE MALL STORE:
Jusco….hahaha…….erm……nothing in specific la…..i go in every shop that attracts my attention. How to attract my attention??? Just put the word ” SALES” then u will see me in that shop. haha

14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD:
Non, unless u count me helping out my aunt in a Asam Laksa Stall for 2 weeks…thats for elective purpose, no wages given to me…sigh

15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?
Oh yeah, i have loads….diff colours….for diff board games…ahaha

16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?:
Never in my life….The ruddest thing in the whole world. Wake ppl for fun? Wait till ppl do that to u….then u will know how bad it is!!

17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED:

Eh………erm………can’t really remember………………..maybe its……Uncle’s Wedding, about 2 years ago?

18. FIRST FRIEND YOU’D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY:
No one, i will 1st call my family…then sms to few REALLY good friends….

19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND:?

Which best friend are u talking about? Haha

see teng: erm, last last tuesday?

Yunny: Er…..somewhere around september?

Ah Kei: Wah….very long ago…can’t remember…should be around before CNY gua

20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT:

Pizza Hutto……..Oh wait…..Gengki Sushi….ahaha!!

Breakfast: McD Lunch: Pizza Hutto, secret recipe, Gengki sushi, Tea: KFC Dinner: go home eat la!!

21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD:

” you are getting prettier everytime i see you!!” cheh…takkan i turn pretty within a day? haha…some malat lou told me that.

24. CAN YOU COOK?
bit bit la…won’t cook unless i am FORCED too.

25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?:
Honda Civic, about 12years car

27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?:
last Thursday

28. MOST DISLIKED FOODS:
Erm….chinese celery, celery and….some don’t know what leaf

29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
My cheerfulness, and thinking far ahead?

30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF?
My occasional pessimism, no confident to speak publicly and slow studying power (i just cannot understand and absorp fast enoughb!)

32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?:

NIL

33. FAVORITE MOVIE?

Narnia? Haha, Pride and Prejudice, The Other Boleyn Girl, Atonement…Harry Potter…okay okay la…

34. CAN YOU SING?
Yup, sort of…won’t go out of tune…but won’t be VERY good either

35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?
David Tao’s, that was in A Lvls….i don’t like concerts….super stuffy…stay home watch the DVD version better la.

oh wait..unless u count MPO concerts….haha, that would be last year!! Yippies…that Is SO NICE!!!

36. LAST KISS?
Ah….does kiss by my little cousin counts? That would be 2days ago….and if dog kiss…would be….er…3days ago

37. LAST MOVIE RENTED:
I never Rent movie k……lolz

38.ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT?
My whole handbag consisting of purse, handphone, tissues, car key, a pen, a note book…etc etc..

39. FAVORITE vacation spot:
Japan Or Korea!!

If cuti-cuti M’sia…..ah……ah……..erm….Perhentian island gua

43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?:
Laptop Definitely…

44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?:

Erm, Shin chan counts? hahaha

45. DO YOU SMOKE?
Goodness NO!!! I don’t want lung cancer

46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES?
With…haha, i cannot stand without clothes….what if suddenly got robber run into my house? CHAM lo

47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?
erm… my teddy bear? and my mum except on weekends…haha..eh, to save electricity k…not i scared of dark

48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?:
Nope… NEVER!!

49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?
Never yet !! Hope not !!

50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?
French toasts!!!! With butter and kaya….ahaha!! Oh wait…changed my mind…strawberry and blueberry jam would be much much better !! Hehehe

51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?:
Oh, YES!!! Coffee is my life!! I want to try every coffee if possible. But, no, im not addicted to it!!

52 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?

Char Yet Dan….hahaha…..fully cooked….best if stuffed into the herbal soup and cook for few hours to become herbal egg!! Whoo……drooling now!!

53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?:
Hai!! Hai!! Me!! Me~!! *raise hand* YES YES YES!!!

54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE:
Mum? To call her up to the entrance of IKEA. Haha

55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?:

Forgotten….I always pick up my phone…..oh wait…i think is my mum.

56. LAST TEXT RECEIVED?:
Chua Chong Bing…

58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?:
1under my head…one hug

59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?
typical bear bear pyjamas

60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC:
Miracles Happens once in a while…when you believe!! *oh yes, i believe in miracles*

61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?:
whats that?

62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?:
No way, unless u are talking of swimming pool

63. CAN YOU SWIM?
Litte bit la….won’t drown easily…haha

64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?:
chocolate, peach

65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS?
yes,im very good at interpreting it!! hehehe

66. I LOVE ________
too many things in my life that i cannot named it all here.

68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?:

Can’t remember…should be NO gua

69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
Spring, autumn and winter….lolz………

70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED ?

Just now

71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ?
9 something i guess….didn’t look at the clock

72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?:
SNOW!!!Hot water spring!! Lying in bed reading books!! NABE (steamboats)!! GREEN TEA!!

73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?:
I haven’t been summoned before! No way, im a good citizen k!!

75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?:

Bobby….that was….way back when i was 4yrs old. now having a new one…called Saw Tut Tut

76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?:
No comment….neither

77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND??
No plans yet, should be studying hard and reading the comics my dad rent for me from JB

78. BIRTHDATE
26th March

79. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?:
Yes…or else what?

80. ARE YOU SMILING?:
Yes…i am always smiling

81. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?
Hmm…..no……………er……maybe yes…but that person would never know…..

82. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
TOo many places that i want to go…(again)Japan and Korea (never been) Sweeden, Australia, UK, New Zealand, USA

83. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?:
No, please la…how old am i wor?

84. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?:
Hahaha….GOOD question….got gua…

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME?
AH DOR

86. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?:
Soo many colours wor…..sort of flowery…but main colour is purple

88. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?:
Er. unless u count going back to hometown? Then last month…yes, twice summore.

90. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER?
No…unless u count a godsister…then i have dozens…

91. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?
yes…

92. ARE YOU IN LOVE?:
No~

93. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL?
Yes……since Sem1? hahaha…..that was IMU sending us there….oh and 2 weeks during Sem3 too, for elective

Staying there….er..form 3, Dengue fever…stayed 1week, enjoying a Queen life there. haha

94. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE IN PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW?
erm…not really…i don’t want to let them see me in pyjamas…ahaha

95. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING?
A Ring, A Jed bracelet, a pair of white gold earing, a pearl+white gold+diamond necklace…haha

96. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY?
nothing…rest….why so long jek…damn tired

97. TAG THREE OTHER PEOPLE

Ah teng, Ah kei, Chris Poi

p/s: sorry to those i tagged !! hehe

Holidays ? Or Busy Week?

2008-10-04T01:38:00.000+08:00

I don't know what i had done in my previous life that i am fated this life to NOT have a peaceful quiet week which i had wished....since....er....start of Sem5? haha.

The holidays start off with a BIG BLAST. Oh yea, BIG BLAST. My mum threw me a huge atomic bom on thursday evening, right after i came home, skipping like Mary's Little Lamb, singing to joy that i had PASSED the stupid Formative Assessment even without studying [please, do not follow what i did alright, i am dead ashame of myself right now, ALL were just SHEER LUCK!!!] Anyway, mum told me that my dad changed his plans. Instead of leaving to my hometown [way back up in kedah or..if u like it...border of kedah and perlis] on Saturday, we are to leave on FRIDAY, to beat the jam that everyone is expecting. I was like " WHAT??? FRIDAY??? BUT I HAVE ALL MY PLANS PLANED OUT!!!!" *My plan: 1) to go Starbucks with See Teng to enjoy coffee as though we are rich....ahahaha, oh come on...just for fun of acting nia 2)to go shop around the area for new clothes, shoes and what else? CLOTHES CLOTHES CLOTHES LA!!! 3) to go Sing K if time permits us to do so....haha, Friday mah, student price neh...sure "sat"(kill) them!! 4) to enjoy our favourite.....muahahaha...no one knows...my fav food is......SHABU SHABU right? haha. Yup, we are supposed to go for a shabu shau shop to enjoy our dinner [no, im not going to tell u which shop we like, we don't like to meet familiar ppl when we go out.....nah nah nah....blek blek!!]

So yea, if my family are to go back on Saturday, the all my 4 nicely planned out plans would be totally RUINED!!! [er, it was really ruined anyhow...haha]. So, i fought [very bad quarrel la...not with hands and legs] with my mum for the 1st time in my life........i cried while i was driving, bringing my aunt to SS2 pasar malam [geng leh...so busy till must cry while drive..haha] ...then refuse to speak to my mum for 3 whole days !!! Actually, i didn't speak to her for 1days nia...why? Cuz the next 2 days, i had a bad soar throat that i BARELY talked to anyone....haha. But, counted also la...cincai la.

Well, no matter how much i oppose to the plan...opps...its MY DAD'S PLAN....i still have to follow them back to hometown on Friday [ditching poor see teng...i am so sorry, my dear!!]. To compensate [seeing that i was real angry that morning], my dad actually let me drive back to Kedah. -Muahahaha- The little kid is finally grown up enough to drive the 5hours journey......er..correction, PART of the 5 hours journey. Haha. Yup, i drove for 3 hours and the rest were driven by my dad. Why? My dad complains me of being too slow and if he continues to let me drive, we shall reach hometown after everyone had their dinner. -Ish- [wei wei wei...i already drive 118km/hr okay...what else u want???] The rest 2 hrs? Haha. Sleep like PIG lo...what else? No many activities for you to choose while you are on long journey. Its either sleep...or read till sleep....or see scenery till sleep...or.....listen music till sleep. No matter what, the end if still SLEEP. Haha.

So yea, when i reached hometown, i KNOW i am in a BIG trouble. I feel feverish and a weird throat [don't ask me how i KNOW its weird...i just FEEL WEIRD...or i MEMANG is weird?hmm]But i told no one about it...cuz if i start saying "ahh...i feel fever la, i have sorethroat...la" then my mum will SURE shoot me and say "again? you forever complain de la....go see dr then okay adi. SEE nia.....no need take medication de..." Ish, as if the dr very leng chai till i see him then i straight away OKAY. Well, i kept quiet the whole night......

next morning....i woke up finding a real BAD throat, chills and fever!! I can barely swallow my own saliver and i was really very reluctanct to drink water [have to keep hpnotise myself to drink water...haha....how? easy nia " doreen...water is very nice...water is very sweet....water won't hurt u....water will cure u....come on....drink it....be brave...water won't kill you"] hahahahaa...... *fall off chair*

So, went to see dr lo....a dr whom i never seen before...and so DAI SAI....i have to wait 2 hrs to see him. WTH !!! Better if i go hospital, lagi cepat !! Anyway, the dr gave me a very good impression at 1st...why?UNSW graduates wor!! I have known great docs from UNSW, 2 of my own uncle la, my dad's best friend la etc etc. So, i was feeling "safe" . But, when i went in, the dr was kinda rush " got gastric? got allergy?no? no? good!! So whats ur problem? Oh sorethroat? open your mouth, let me see...say ahh...oh, tonsilitis la...u have a very bad tonsils ler...how often u get? [finally...i got chance to say something...."er..quite frequent ler..about once every 2 months? more on exams time"] Oh..like that ah...i think you go cut your tonsil better la {my eyes big big}...don't know? I mean tonsillectomy la..[if i dont' know whats plain meaning of cut my tonsil...but know tonsillectomy...then i am no human la...]your tonsils nogood adi...its a policeman, no policeman keep got attack and keeps give you problem...go take it away...very easy...very fast...very safe....right, go stand at weighing scale....oh gosh...62.8kg? you quite fat la [i was like...what the hell? your scale got problem k...i had never exceed 60Kg in any weighing machine...summore say me fat] cut down ur sugars la...cut down ur fatty food la...eat more vege...go do exercise....come, i hear ur back [draw a "s" sign behind my back using less than 1 second] good..everything normal [i was like...WHAT?? you can listen all lobes within 1s?]. Anything else? [havent sempat say anything....] oh nothing...good, i will give u some antibiotic...bye!!

@^#^@%#^&%@&^$%^%@$^%@^$%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT DE!! I do not even have a CHANCE to say anything, he sent me out of the room. NEVER mind, whatever la...i FORGIVE you. So, i went to the dispensary....to collect my medication.So, the nurse said
N= nurse D= doreen
N: nah, ini, untuk sakit
D: *nod head*
N: ini, untuk sakit...eh, sorry, untuk deman
D: *nod head*
N: ini, untuk bengkak
D: ok *nod head*
N: ini, untuk....blah blah...din say clearly...
D: har? what did u say? apa tu?
N -ignore D- nah, ini dua, antibiotik, mesti habiskan ya...semua rm 38.
D: -stunned-.......[mind is thinking....what DISEASE i have...that i must have 2 antibiotics??]
N: RM38
D: oh....-look at father- pa, you gao dim her...i go look at my med

So, yup, for the 1st time in my life, i have medication MORE than my grandmother!! haha. My grandma has 4...but me...5!! which 2 of them antibiotics??? OMG!! my resistant is going to be so ever strong....whats the point of me reluctant to take any antibiotics all these while? Anyhow, due to the real bad suffering...and pain.....i took la.....till.......the day i go and see my family doctor...which is...about 5days after the incident!!

Meantime....what happened? The next day, i went with my family, to "settle" my grandpa. Oh...if i am to comment............to me, everything WAS fine.....yea, FINE.....REALLY fine.......we didn't fight....we just QUARREL.....really la....we didn't use hands to box people.....we just fight using mouth.....and....ahaha....many people crying....and some went hysterics nia....MUCH MUCH better than what i expected. Oh yea man.....that was FINE!! Haha. Just, don't ask me what happened alright.....i won't tell you unless u are some special friend of mine, cuz it really involve a bit of....er...haha...offence to some religion. All in all, grandpa's problem settled. He will be having a christian funeral *thanx to that devil who say " everything under my roof must be christian style*.....but my family are to have his ashes....put it in a temple right beside my late grandma...and then fly to china and perform the what-so-ever buddhist ceremony which my grandpa been planning for about 10yrs. ALL......was WELL.....haha.

The rest of the week......were surprisingly fine...except that i feel nauseated, pain, fever, lost my voice, chills, giddy, dizzy.....and....thanks to the storm on Sunday night.........i had another wave of fever and chills while having dinner...and have to suffer tru 3 hrs cuz no one listen to me telling them i am feeling uncomfortable....but rather listen to my parents who were so EXCITED telling them what happened to my grandpa's case. In the end? I feel like dying........thankful that Chong Bing was there to sms me.....give me bit of moral support!! Thankx!! Oh, i finally got to go home and rest after suffering 3 hrs............when my aunt...finally shout to the crowd that she is having headache and need some rest. See la....AUNT wor....pangkat higher than me.....so shout...ppl listen. I no pangkat...no one listen. PATHETIC la. Haha

Monday, i basically spent the whole day in bed...resting...but to my despair, my throat still hurts like shit.....and when i look at it using torch light and mirror....i saw multiple white spots/patches.....a bit cheesy feel. On Tuesday, i was so HAPPY that my dad finally wants to go home!! I WANT TO SEE MY FAMILY DOCTOR.So, bringing another car FULL of my relatives....all of us depart back to KL, HOME SWEET HOME!!

I really can't wait for any moment...so rushed to the family dr, right after i reach my home. Hehe. Very desperate...sorry la...damn pain la!! You know what my fam dr said? " wah...what happened to ur throat? What you been doing? you had a very badly managed throat and now...you have MULTIPLE ulcers on ur throat....and oh, i see another ulcer of the side of ur tongue.What you been doing la? " So...out rushed my whole story......and he was SHOCKED when i told him i had 2 antibiotics....quote him " wah...so dai jai (big matter)meh... till need 2 kah...no need la....where got so serious!! let me see the antibiotics. Oh....okay la...u stop this 2, can throw away adi...i give you another one....trust me..this one...i CONFIRM tmr you would be better.BUT........i cannot jamin ur ulcers can heal tmr" " what??? so i need to bear the pain?" " oh yes...nothing in this world can save ur ulcers...bear with it for about 5days...let it heal by themselves." " oh my god..........i feel like crying adi....so pain" " oh yes...what to do? i know the feel..." feels very behavioral science right? haha....but Indeed....my throat was MUCH better the next day and day after tmr....my throat doesn't feel pain anymore.....just the stupid ulcer on my tongue makes me cannot eat and drink.

Oh no...i guess i bored u all again...hehe, sorry la....like Archike loves to say "cakap banyak".....i just loves to talk....to my computer....hehehe. Oh....by the way....the next day after i seen the doctor...i went to JayyyyBeeeee!!! Whoooohooooo!! haha. Stayed there for few days...went 2 shopping malls...for more clothes and shoes [yet in the end didn't get any....aih...paiseh la...my taste very weird de...then i need to think for long time before deciding buy or no buy]

Today, came back from JB, went straight to chi cheong gai pulak. Haha. AND...finally got myself a bag (lelong mah...RM 10 nia...don't buy is stupid).....and a simple blouse!! Muahaha.

Studies??? whats study?? S-T-U-D-Y??? What is that? Means what? Doreen Saw is temporary stupid to the word study........lost memory to every single muscle, nerve supply, blood supply......................................................................................................................................................
WHAT DO U WANT WOR....i had been so busy and so sick for WHOLE week...how to study jek?? Use brain think think la.....[haha...paiseh...talk like my mother pulak !!]

Nitez la!

Religion, Buddist Or Christianity?

2008-09-20T19:34:00.000+08:00

Warning : If you cannot take my views on religion, just, please, i beg you....to walk away!! I will not curse either religion nor talk bad about it...don't worry..cuz the fault is not on the RELIGION itself, but the people.

Those who knows me well, would know i had been a free thinker for 20years ++ .....yup, ever since i was born, i am ALREADY a free thinker since non of my family members claim themselves as a member of a religion. Nah. In those important forms (eg: passport, IC) where there is no such choice as free thinker, we would put ourselves as Buddhist, but...haha, we are not!!

I am not saying that "ah, im not a buddhist, so i don't celebrate Wesak (indeed i never celebrate before...haha..except doing voluntery work on that day and having long sleeps)" or " ah im no buddhist, so i don't go ANY temple". Nah, we do go temples, esp on festive seasons. I don't know why...perhaps it's my customs to go temple during CNY? haha. Whatever la. Just to say, i DO go temple...yet i am no buddist!! Weird?

In fact, being a free thinker, allows me to go freely where ever i want to go. Say, when i was young, i went to the camp organised by some church EVERY YEAR without fail. Even after i shifted from JB to KL, i still go church for the camp.........live there with many friends, learn new bible verse, learn new tricks, had fun...blah blah. But, i am Not a christian either!! Lolz. No one ever TRY to talk to me or my family about converting to christianity....maybe my family's face all look very "buddhist"? and to the buddhist, my whole family looks very "christiant"? Haha.

You know, I'm not writing to tell you im a FREE THINKER. But, to tell you, there are some people out there, uses bad way of converting people.

Oh Great !! I just got to know, my old 93yrs old grandpa got converted into Christiant today. The BEST thing is, he got baptised in 2 days, without even letting my dad, his son (although adopted one) know or talk to him before THEY baptise my grandpa. No no.....THERE IS SOMETHING EVEN BETTER!!! BEST OF EVERYTHING..........my grandpa don't even know WHAT is christianity, and thinks that he can still HAVE his funeral in taoist and buddhist mixture way (yea, my kampung all have this kind of funeral, don't get a shock!!) AND AND....thinks he can have his CEREMONY that helps him go to the happy western world of buddist after dead!! SEE????? You got my POINT???? WHY CONVERT and BAPTISE him when he DON"T UNDERSTAND and STILL THINK THAT WAY????

I don't know whether they get credit of going heaven or not after they convert someone into christianity...what i cares is, YOU esp the pastor....SHOULD MAKE SURE THE POOR OLD MAN UNDERSTANDS before baptise him. WTH !!! Now, my grandpa is going to die, knowing his funeral won't be the way he wants.......and no special ceremony (yea la..the one that helps him fly to western world of buddhist lo) done for him. DIE with an UNFUFILLED wish in his heart and NEVER REST IN PEACE. Damn stupid la they all. Keep chantting Rest in peace during every funeral...but never REALLY CARES whether the deceased will rest in peace or not.

A point to add, damn funny de..........my grandpa HATES christianity !! Haha. haha. haha. Sorry, i just can't help laughing. He hates it, yet being converted into one, when he is imobile, lying on his bed, waiting to die. (the last part damn pity also la.....). Why he hates that ? Cuz there one one christiant family, who borrow large sum of money from him in needy times. Though my grandpa wasn't well off....he still lend them....and suffer poverty for few months (real good of him, sacrifice for others...so proud of him). But, when that family....who believes GOD is everything.....become well off...and my grandpa asked them to return the money to him to save him from starving.....that stupid rude family.....THREW the whole stack of money ON THE FLOOR....step the money...make them into a mess....and asked my grandpa to pick it up if he wants....and walk away. Damn BASTARD !!! Oh well, end up, my grandpa pick up la..........money is innocent mah..why threw them away when they still can use? Go spend it mah no one know money were being step on before....haha. But, since then, my grandpa hates christiant.Damn sad right? Just because a tree had fallen on him, he chop off all the trees in the jungle. What to do? Old man mah. Forgive him bah...everyone !!

Now, when my aunt (his own, real daughter) converted into christian about 4-5yrs back, he cried of disappointment. He kneel on the floor.....cried till he was so tired that he cannot get up. He cannot take the fact that his OWN duaghter betrayed her. Aih. At one point, he even want to end the father-daughter relationship with them......but, we persuaded him. There is nothing wrong with christianity, it is JUST A RELIGION. Come on, no need to be so "kua jiong" (exaggerating) gua...till end relationship. So, he took our words...and forgiven her....although spitefully tell her daughter " you no need come to my funeral. You christiant, cannot take joy stick, cannot eat whatever that was layed infront of my coffin, cannot do this cannot do that, so mafan....so i forgive you if you don't want to come!! ". Damn spiteful of my grandpa. Haha. We knew that was the max he could do to clear the anger....so we didn't do anything about it la. Of coz, if there is a funeral, we would call my aunt to come.

But now, what happened? My aunt backstabbed my whole family. BACKSTABBED!!! BACKSTABBED!!! Who were the one helping her to save her r/ship with her father? Who were the one keep a close eye on her going for christianity? Who were the one who nicely advice her not to convert her father knowing grandpa has loads of buddhist wishes and if she convert him, grandpa would not die in peace? WHo?? US...MY FAMILY!!! MY FATHER to be SPECIFIC!!! But now, what good we have? Being Backstabbed !! Well done, aunt!! Well done !! BRAVO!! APPLAUSE and CHEERS!!!

I don't know what is going to happened next. My parents went to see grandpa this afternoon and according to them, my grandpa got into a big shock after my parents explain to him that there is no way having a buddist + Taoist funeral for him....for my aunt would SURE to stop us if we TRY to get his body into a temple claiming that HE IS ALREADY CHRISTIANT!!! So how? What to do? Whats next? All we can do is....to let him die not in peace. There is nothing we can do...unless you want us to grab parang knife.....dash up to Sungai Petani and ROB my grandpa's dead body after he passed away and quickly set up a taoist and buddhist funeral for grandpa? Hahaha. THat is so comic !! Impossible la. My family don't even know WHERE to get Parang Knifes needless to say to ROB the body.

Poor grandpa. Mum said the doctor came to see him not long ago and the doctor says he is not going to survive long. He has a real bloated tummy (i don't know due to air or due to fluid)...immobile, cannot eat......incontinece of both urine and pass motion.....as i said earlier....just lie there waiting to die....unless there is sudden miracle that helps him gain health !! Oh i wish that happen !! Since he is already a christiant, and my uncle keep BRAGGING that ITS ALL JESUS MIRACLE, JESUS LOVING....that my grandpa gain health and can walk after being so weak in china. F*** him la, if Its so good...why he still brings my grandpa to see Doctor? If you think he is EVERYTHING......HE can CURE without asking doctor to prescirbe medcine....then DON"T LET ME SEE HIM WALKING INTO A PRIVATE GP OR HOSPITAL SEEKING TREATMENT !!!! DAMN HIM!! TOO OVer adi la.......i know, Doctor is not everything. Religion is the one that supports us mentally...........when we needs help and miracle and there is nothing we can do....we can leave them all to whatever we belive in (oh my...who do i leave problem to then? My self??? I no religion de wor...haha). But THIS.....is just too much !! Thinking that without doctor, jesus can cure ur normal common cold? electorlyte imbalance?? Aih...he ah....going into demonics adi!! Really no eye see !!

I am so ashamed of having them as relatives now. FORCING people into converting !! IGNORE people's wish...and FORCING !! What kind of people are they? Don't they know that religion can never be forced? A person, even if he is being baptised, but have a buddhist heart....is he still christiant? My grandpa not even HAVE a buddhist heart...but also a BUDDHIST wish......but thanx to his good DAUGTHER....he will never has his wishes reached and fufill!! THank Q auntie...THAnk Q!! I shall never call you aunty anymore, after the only link (my grandpa) passed away. i can only thank whoever (god la....goddess la...chinese god la....angels la.....whatever) that i am not related by blood to you !!! I am so totally ASHAME of you forcing YOUR OWN FATHER........and MAKING him NEVER TO REST IN PEACE!! in fact, I HATE YOU!!! DON"T LET ME SEE YOU AGAIN!!!

p/s: i am open to comment...someone...please tell me that i am wrong......or please tell me that i am right...cuz i am very lost now. I don't know what to do next. I want to help grandpa, but couldn't. Sigh.

See...i say i didn't curse or talk bad about any religion right?? Its all the people's fault !!!

Don't Worry, Be Happy !!

2008-09-12T20:04:00.000+08:00

Dear All,

Hmm, to start with everything, i shall give a warning: This is going to be a superb long (i wish la..who knows?), so if you do not have time, just ignore me. Nothing important.....

A recap of my whole week......all i can say is : Horrible & Terrible !!

I broke down twice this week, cry as hard as possible, till i start to understand why people say " nuu ren is shui zhuo de" (women are made from water). Haha.

Sunday: Went to cut my hair.....make it REAL short now. Oh, not to say my mum made me geram by FFK me.....forever making me angry la her !! [haha]

Monday: Nothing much important.

Tuesday: I had PBL at 8.30, woke up at 6.30 since i need to get out from home before 7am...then went out for lunch and come back for meeting at 12.30 which stretch up to 2pm......then went library for one whole stretch day of study...till i also head pusing pusing. Then went lecture....and went home feeling so dizzy...yet i HAVE to study...since i WANT to go shopping the next day. But but...my mum, didn't know i was so tired, keep asking me to do this do that...just because she is LAZY eg: eh, go take the oil for ur uncle at downstairs or eh, you go down, see ah tut sleep where then on the fan for him or eh, you go fetch this for me downstairs. One time 2 time, never mind...i helped you...but when you over-expect my kindness, you will get the consequence...which i shouted and scolded my mum. Since then, she never asked me to fetch anything for her. haha.

Wednesday: Woke up at 6am, because i want to go buy McD as breakfast, for me and the 2 guys. Was feeling very tired, nauseated, headache, but i promised them, so have to go. Was served by an extremely rude and bad face waiter whom said loudly " siapa puk tak nak serve, mengapa nak saya serve pulak". Apparently she wasn't talking to me...but shouting across to her friends...and since she was SHOUTING, i heard and felt so angry. And, she put everything in the bag.......then leave on the counter...make me so stupid stand at the counter as though she still have stuffs to put. After sometime only i realized she finish packing. -duh-

So, i went to uni, and call chen yi to wake her up then dropped by the nasi lemak stall to buy my family's LUNCH. -aih- EVERYONE just LIKE to call me do things for them. Anyhow, the nasi lemak kuah somehow dirties my pouch and pencil box...and i have to wash it at home after my lecture. Then after lunch, my family and I went Sunway Piramid for shopping. Everything was going well, although i was extremely tired and in need of sleep, not to say feeling extremely guilty for i haven't finish Air Topic, Narrative (both of them deadline at next thursday), study my MSK notes and revision.

At night, after dinner, i jump up to my room and wanted to study, then i realize my pencil case is not dry yet and i asked my mum where she put my other BUNDLE of pencil cases (yea, i had a bundle of them, just that my mum kept them somewhere). Mana tahu, my mum told me " i forget where i put wor, you go find la...or else you use this [chuck me a super dirty, aunty, and hideos pouch] and say " same de la...use 1st la, tahan a day or 2 " then she went and place her big ass on the sofa and start chit chatting with my aunt about some one's gossip. WTH!! I was so angry......i kicked everything i can kicked (to not spoil them) then after my leg pain, i slap, push, hit anything i can do..........then hand pain, i start banging the doors which turn out not to be a good idea since i shut the door on my fingers [ouch].....and end up....i don't know is the pain or the anger or the tiredness.....i just sit in the middle of my bed...kneeling summore, and start cry as hard as possible as though i never cried before. I ignored Ah Yun's sms [ im sorry, yunny ]...just kept crying.......and forced myself to study Thani's note although im crying. But all i did was to cry and cry...and trying to putuskan my highlighter. Haha. So, that night, ended with no notes being studied. SIGH!!!

Oh, i wrote to my aunt too....lolz, telling her how badly my mum treated me...lolz.....and the funny thing i saw now is.......i write and cry at the same time. So, my keyboard was soaking with tears after i finish the email [lucky my lappie didn't go haywire !! lolz]

Thursday: Woke up with puffy eyes due to the excessive "water" production previous night. haha. Headache and dizzy, but still went to Uni for 8am class. While on the road, someone BANG me AGAIN. Yes.....i never bang ppl, but ppl just LOVE to bang me. about 3-4 weeks ago, KKB-IMU buss bang me...and now some college guy bang me pulak. I saw my bonnet crack from my side mirror and i wind my window down to signal that guy to drive to the side so we don't block the traffice and cause an even bad jam. But, that guy...................didn't do so but drive on. Lucky there was this jam that he cannot move much. So, i did the bravest thing in my whole life. I came out from my car.....walk to his car....and knocked at his window...as though that is not a main road with loads of car and motocycles....and as though i was in a shopping mall car park [hahahahaha]. So i start settling with that guy......{don't want tell the details}, but the settling didn't turn out good cuz he kept making me angry...and i kept talking in an harsh and cold voice as though im "po4 fu4 ma4 jie1" (angry women scolding road?). Haha. AND...the thing that make me most angry is.....he drives off when the car starts to move and leave me in the MIDDLE of the road. WAH LIAO EH!!! I was so angry that i went back to my car....called my mum....and got even angrier when she didn't pick up.....so i called and called and keep calling till my mum pick up the phone and i screamed at her. Lolz. Damn angry + messy la me.

So, end up, i went to uni, late for THani's class...lucky didn't miss much...and went home after 2 hour lecture to see what my mum want to do. End up, my mum wants to go lunch in SS15 and see whether we can catch that guy in that area (college area mah). And.....really, luck was on my side.....the only space available for me to park my car so i can have lunch, is actually RIGHT INFRONT of that guy's car. Haha. Thanx to my uncle and aunt, who are Toto+ Magnum + Sport Horse + 4D king & Queen, they can remember any 4 figure number PLUS recognise them whenever they see them. Haha. So, mum stuck a note on that guy's windscreen to tell him to meet at THAT spot at 6pm...or i would go report police and have his P licence gantung. Muahaha. [according to CCB, this sounded like loan shark...lol]

So, after that, i WENT back to IMU again...lolz, for CSU. It was a very funny session, but i wasn't in mood to laugh that time [laugh like hell when i remember that today] just worry, tired, and no semangat. So, after CSU, i went home to find no one at home...i use a cane to wack my dog cuz he very naughty [ damn bad of me hor?] and then lie on sofa and tears immediately trickle down my cheeks. -sigh- I was so tired that i do not want to go police station since report take loads of time and i NEED sleep and study. So i cried...and at the same time...sms CCB. SMS halfway...i fall asleep pulak [sorry la, brother]. He was very nice and make me feel so touched. Lolz.

Anyhow, the whole thing settle pretty nicely....but my mum still don't want let me go.....she asked me to bring my whole family to Carefour (T.T) [hahahahahahahaha] So, li li la la...dee dee dah dah....do everything, came home also 12am. AIH !!!!!! =.=" So went to bed straight. Haha

p.s: oh, thanx to CCB, i relize that i should pull myself together...and not continue to sulk and sad.....always think i need to study, think i need to sleep...which all of that make me more tired and irritable. So, i pulled myself up and smiled !!

p.s 2: I missed the MidAutumn Celebration and Welcoming Party which ALL committee MUST attend. What to do, not i want to have accident de ah...ppl want bang me...i can't even avoid. For the 3rd time in IMU, i missed the celebration. haha. Really have no fate with it.

Friday: Woke up with a full energy due to the 9hr sleep i had. Had an early lecture this morning, so went to Uni. -Sigh-Went to check email after lecture cuz i know, my aunt would have write back to me yesterday [but thanx to my mum, i didn't even have the energy to check mail]. After i read the whole email....i start crying again. [lolz] Yup, in e-lab, a very common place where anyone can come and go......tears trickle down my cheeks. I was so touched with her advice and comfort. Will say nothing about it.....but i shall always bring it out to read when i am stress.

So, after lunch, CCB sent chen yi home and we SUPPOSED to go library together....BUT BUT....it was as though fated for me.......i avoided Adelin successfully at the door of IMU, yet i met another yoga club committee when i go toilet. AIH !!! Fated la. So, i packed little bit of my stuff...and decided to go support the club which i once was a committee.

All i can say is " IT IS GOOD & ACCURATE ". Haha. Why ? Cuz they have this meditation thing....where you put right hand on heart 1st...then put on top of your head....and then change hand put on top of head. So, if you feel and warmness in your hand, it has diff meaning. For me....i told her i feel hot on my left hand. She asked me " are you worried lately? very worried? Of many many things?" OMG!!! She was so accurate. I was worried hell. Haha. And, one thing she said....hit me in my mind " Forgive yourself and forgive others. We are humans, we make mistakes, don't think so much, do your best and the rest just leave it all to divine. If someone continue to hurt you, never mind, try forgive her again and again, and help her again and again, somehow, later she will leave you alone and never kacau u again. If you are angry, you are suffering yourself while that person is so happy. So FORGIVE and you will have good fruits eventually!!" I damn like this phrase. Haha.

I had "good fruits".....haha. I went to Friday Focus (aka pathology case discussion for all semester) and don't know why, my mind was working real good, i got one case correct and Dr. Thani said " i will give her an A if she is now in exams". WAH!!! I was so happy !!! [ sorry la, SS a bit, cuz very rare got ppl puji me de leh...haha]

Then lecture....and now....everything was FINE.....

I can't tell you how glad i am now, to find everything as good as i want it to be. I don't know its because i had been stress that i see everything as sad stuff........and now cuz i put all that down and decided to follow my own steps, so i feel good? Or was it cuz of that yoga thing that i learn how to meditate and it calms me down?? [yoga always de-stress me no matter what, Summative la, EOS la...when im stress...i go yoga and all would be fine again]Oh well, which ever.....all i want to say....im feeling good now. Haha.

Special thanx to CCB, for the concern, advice and comfort during my "down" days !!

About my title...this was one of the advice my aunt gave me.....

and to everyone who is feeling stress now

" Don't Worry......relax.....and Be Happy....tmr sun will shine brightly again !! "

What Kind Of Coffee Girl I am..

2008-09-08T22:57:00.000+08:00

OMG...i cannot resist this test seeing that i LOVE coffee so much...
hehehe
and
it turn out quite accurate....
ehehehehe

You Are a Plain Ole Cup of Joe

But don't think plain - instead think, uncomplicated

You're a low maintenance kind of girl... who can hang with the guys

Down to earth, easy going, and fun! Yup, that's you: the friend everyone invites.

And your dependable too. Both for a laugh and a sympathetic ear.

What Kind of Coffee Girl Are You?

What Is My Prom Style

2008-09-08T22:48:00.000+08:00

Again, Nothing to do.....so...ahaha...sorry la !!

Classic Halter Dress

Classy and sexy, you know how to make a lasting impression without having an outrageous dress.

What's Your Prom Style?

I Am sexy?? The test must be something wrong...
hahaha

What Kind Of Wine I Am

2008-09-08T22:46:00.000+08:00

You Are Chardonnay

Fresh, spirited, and classic - you have many facets to your personality.

You can be sweet and light. Or deep and complex.

You have a little bit of something to offer everyone... no wonder you're so popular.

Approachable and never smug, you are easy to get to know (and love!).

Deep down you are: Dependable and modest

Your partying style: Understated and polite

Your company is enjoyed best with: Cold or wild meat

What Kind of Wine Are You?

Oh Well....i never know i am modest !! Hahaha...see see enough la k...i am just tired after pushing loads of osteoporosis into my poor brain....

Busy, BiZy!!

2008-09-04T20:56:00.000+08:00

Well, my term had finally, succesfully commences this tuesday, no matter how reluctant i am, no matter how much i hate it. Haha. How i wish holidays can be tweeny, weeny, little bit more longer!!

All i can say is....BIZY!!! Yes, yup, BUSY. Been very busy since wednesday...the stamina i built up during holidays are deteriorating bit by bit due to the ~~crazy~~ time table that ~~idiotic~~ AAD set for us. =) Imagine this, we have 4 morning lectures in a week AND afternoon which usually ends at 4pm...or worst 7pm. Meaning, whole week, except monday, i will have to REPORT myself at 8am (where i would wake up at 6.30am) and go home at around 4pm (if lucky) or unluckily, 7pm. Sigh. ~~No eye see !!!~~

Tmr is the last day of this busy week.....have PBL early in the morning at 8am......a BIG gap in between till 4.45pm (thats why i say AAD is ~~Idiotic~~ loving us so much!!) .......and ends at 7pm. Hopefully, moga moga, i sincerely wish....i have at least some time to study the notes that i had been lagging (yes, i am lagging behind...surprise or not? I haven't finish one note this week!!) and of course, best if i can start a little bit of my revision of the previous systems. Eos ...is a Killer !!

Got to go....still have tones to work to do.....

oh, one thing i am glad is...that i actually finishes my ECA form, finding out all my certs and completing my family medicine portfolio during the holidays. I see few friends of mine catching up......even more busier than me.....and you know what...i actually feel ~~funny and relieved~~ pity for them to have extra work load.

Jah neh !!

珍惜

2008-08-22T22:16:00.000+08:00

Why do people start to know what is important in life, after losing something? Why do people "awake" from being lost, after they lost something they love?

Today, i woke up to find myself sleeping till 1pm. "Ah, He is in fire right now" is the 1st thought that came into my mind. He = Ju Liang. He would be cremated today at 12pm and i don't have the heart to watching one who used to be my classmates being cremated...although, deep down in my heart, i know he is dead and should be cremated.

Yesterday, i went to his memorial in his house in Sri Petaling. What a shame to me. He has been sick since 2006, the year when i started IMU, he got well and got sick AGAIN this year, and still, i never know he lives in Sri Petaling, which is about 2-5minutes drive from IMU.

His house, is a very big place, with a pond at the side of the house and few fat Koi fish swimming happily in the pond not knowing that one of the master had passed away. The garden, used to be well kept...........or maybe the flowers feel sad for their master left them, thats why they look so dry and dead? The memorial, was as expected, pastor coming out for speech, a very long one too, then hyms, then someone come out to talk something about him when he was still living.......then...finally, all ended with Amazing Grace. It took about nearly 2 hours.....

Then, we were given a chance to have a last look of him before we leave the place......and with few other high school classmates, we went into the living room. There, was a coffin in the middle of the room, with his photo, a very well recognisable photo infront of the coffin. I expect to see his face, lying in the coffin, as though in a deep sleep. But, i saw a stranger, someone whom i never seen before.......sleeping quietly in the coffin. I really thought i came to the wrong place....or there must be a mistake, since the boy in the coffin, is someone who is bald, round face, bloated cheeks..........there is not a spot in his face which seems familar to me.

Many people arounds us cried, even one of my classmates shed tears. But, nothing came out from my eyes. I am such cold blooded person, am I? For once, i was really sad, esp seeing a girl hugging his father, both of them cried, tears are as though continously flowing out from their eyes, never wanting to stop. -sigh-. THat, was really a very sad scene.

After the memorial, finally, i manage to speak to few of my classmates, whom i last seen 2 years ago. One of them (Yi Xiong) suggested us going to some dessert shop, take some drink and catch up with each other. I was planning to reject at 1st, since it was nearly 10.30pm and i promised my mum not to be home late (cuz its Mid July). But, suddenly, i realized that i have not much time with them anymore. I am leaving next year and so do others. So we went to "tong chi tau" ......

I don't know its by purpose or not, non of us speak of him. Even if someone accidentally touch on that topic, someone would be quick to swab the topic to something else. Maybe its too sad.....that non of us want to speak about it now. During that chit chat, Yi Xiong said something, which i had thought earlier that evening " Why do we have to gather after Ju Liang's dead? So, are we to gather again, next time, when someone dies? " It is a very sad fact, but it is very true. If Ju Liang is not dead, we won't be there together.....it is as if he gave us this one last gift, to bring us all together for one last time, before he really leave us.

My classmates had planned to go to really see him one last time today.......but i think, it would be too much for me. So i stayed at home, sleeping. But, i haven't been too good. Whole night, i had the 3rd nightmare of the week. Ever since i got to know he has passed away, i started to have nightmare. All i dreamt yesterday night was his memorial.....it is as if someone put a spoiled recorder in my dream....i keep repeating and repeating the memorial in my head...then seeing his photo.....his coffin...then him...again and again and again. I woke up with a jump early in the morning, and at once, i know i shall not sleep unless i read something funny or i would again have the same dream.
Yes, the funny comic works....and i slept till 1pm where i woke and realized he is already "in fire".

I have never in my life find so difficult to accept death. What is death? To me, its just someone, gone to some place, where we could never see him, hear him nor talk to him anymore. I had gone through few deaths already......but i don't know why, i feel so sad.......and sad.........and sad.....to accept the fact that he will never be in this world anymore and to accept that 5S4 '04 will never be complete again. He is no more a band of 5S4 in reality....and all of us will ONLY be classmates again in our next life.

I really felt like crying.....for a friend who past away so earlier......there is still such a long journey for him....but fate took the journey away from him. I am at the edge of crying....but...somehow, tears just refuse to come out.

For the 1st time in my life, i felt glad, that i am alive, that i am able to go to uni, that i am able to live happily, that i am able to go shopping, that i am able to go further my studies in overseas, that i am able to see many friends, that i am able to laugh and joke and cry with many people.....etc etc.

I am really Thankful for the 1st time, in my 20 years of life.

.....

2008-08-21T15:14:00.000+08:00

This morning, the rain woke me up. I woke up, to find my room in partial darkness......"what a weather.." was the 1st thing that come into my mind.

I had a nightmare yesterday night....woke up early in the morning, so blur that i thought i was in the dream. The nightmare isn't good, it was talking about someone passing away.

I woke up, wishing that all that was told yesterday was a joke, hoping that i am so bad and cruel that i imagined Ju Liang's death. I was almost 100% believing that i made it up, until i saw the unchanged messages in my facebook inbox. Then, i know, it is time, that i face the truth, accept the fact, that he has gone to the arms of God.

There will be a memorial for him tonight, and after looking at his house address, i realize i am such a bad friend. He lived in Sri Petaling, and what....Sri Petaling is only 2minutes away from IMU? I didn't even made an effort to visit him while he was sick. -Sigh-. No correction, i DIDN'T even KNOW he was sick.....until yesterday, when i was told he passed away.

Somehow, i still cannot believe this.I always find it difficult to accept the fact that someone passed away, and i find it extremely difficult to accept this fact since to me, its like day before yesterday, i was thinking "he is some where, don't know where, doing some courses...or had even flew to overseas for undergrad studies", then yesterday....with no previous hint at all.......i was told he passed away.

Sigh.

How nice if there is no one to die in this world? Then there won't be sadness at all.....there won't be tears shedding.........

I made up my mind, no matter how "not close" i am to him during secondary school, i decided to attend his memorial tonight.

Sigh

2008-08-20T15:24:00.000+08:00

Life is really unpredictable....

I just got to know today, that a friend of mine, to be more accurate, my high school classmate --> Ju Liang....passed away quite some time already. If Joshua didn't send me a msg in Facebook today, i wouldn't have know, and would still think that he is still some where, studying hard.

From Ju Liang's blog, i sort of make out that he had Leukemia, lucky enought to get a transplant, but not lucky enough since he has GVHD (Graft Versus Host Disease). Sigh.

No wonder, when Professor Chong came to give us a lecture on stem cell transplant, he warned us about " stem cell transplant is not as easy as you think, many people die from it". I was thinking maybe he trying to exaggerate...but no, now i got to know a real life case here. Sigh.

In my memory, Ju Liang is a very smart guy, very good in maths and physics......erm, no, should say good in everything....academically and also arts. He can draw very well and is a gentleman. =) He is cheerful, fun and always seem to be in a big gang with other guys. I also happened to know....er...a little secret of him...which i shall not reveal here.

Life....is cruel. Why would this happened to him but not to some theif or rapers or drug addicts or whatever....why him? He is nice, in fact, very nice guy.....why him? There are loads of bad guys out there, waiting for the judgement day to come..............fate has the choice to pick those people, but of all those bad people, fate picked him? Why? What harm had he done to the society to end him with such painful course.

I am still in shocked......really unbelievable. Don't feel like believing, but there is no reason of why Joshua would want to bluff me.

All i can say is......life...is really unpredictable. Live you life to the fullest !!

Ju Liang, May You Rest In Peace.

Personality Test

2008-08-17T22:04:00.000+08:00

You know...im quite keen on personality test......
and...today...i tried few again...sorry la...nothing better to do mah...

here goes my results

Jung Test Results

Introverted (I) 58.33% Extroverted (E) 41.67%
Sensing (S) 58.33% Intuitive (N) 41.67%
Feeling (F) 62.5% Thinking (T) 37.5%
Judging (J) 70.83% Perceiving (P) 29.17%

Big 5 Test

Extroversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	40%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Emotional Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	64%
Inquisitiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%

The Big Five is currently the most accepted personality model in the scientific community. The Big Five emerged from the work of multiple independent scientists/researchers starting in the 1950s who using different techniques obtained similar results. Those results were that there are five distinct personality traits/dimensions. Here are your results on each dimension:

Extroversion results were moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and private.

Orderliness results were high which suggests you are overly organized, neat, structured and restrained at the expense too often of flexibility, variety, spontaneity, and fun.

Emotional Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Accommodation results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense of your own individual development (martyr complex).

Inquisitiveness results were moderately high which suggests you are intellectual, curious, imaginative but possibly not very practical.

My KamPung

2008-08-17T13:43:00.000+08:00

Never intro my kampung to you all before....hehehe....

Well, let the photos do the talking then.

Enjoy !!

DSC00889

Have you seen such Fan before? Hahaha...theres a lot in my Hometown....

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Its...about my height neh...
By the way...
this was taken in a temple...lolz. I was there to "visit" my grandma and grandpa.
=P

DSC00891

Nice temple?
Oh, the red thing....used to be where we burn all the gold and silver papers.
i don't know what those papers call...i just call them gold and silver. Haha
And...
this temple....sorry, didn't get the real pix of it...
is the most famous temple in whole Alor Setar...
Just ask anyone where is "siam wat" ( thai temple...wat= angkor wat...that wat?)
And they will direct u to it.

DSC00892

Hear say this roof is very bah pai...
can't remember the story...
will tell u all one day..
hehe

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Becareful of stray dogs...
the people there has bad habits of throwing dogs in temple...
so u will see dogs any where in the temple...
most of them has skin disease...
real sad la...

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This is the south exit of Alor Setar....or was it north? haha.
As long as u come out from the toll.....
it is Alor Setar....
And....if u see this.....
it means u are some where near my aunt's house. Lolz
I am not very familiar with that place....all i know is...
see this = aunt place..
and they can bring me to my grandma's place. LOlz

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You know....only in Alor Setar, you can see ppl build houses in the middle of paddy field...

AND...

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Building Bunglow beside the high way (i wonder how to get in)
and also middle of paddy field.
Lolz.
A very special highlight where u cannot find in other place. Lolz

Paddy field and paddy field and more paddy field.
I used to not feeling keen on looking at them since in KL we hardly see "that far".
You know....just right infront of your eyes..there would be buildings around...
and usually the farthest you can see is about 100m?
but this...i tell u...u can see more than 10KM if there is nothing (eg mountain or some stupid trees or TNB batang) blocking.

DSC00907

Sky...
Oh i love the sky...
u can see loads of single clouds there....provided u can stand the heat...
Lolz...there is barely sheds for you to stare at the sky....and the heat is intolerable
The temperature there is higher than in KL just as how KL is hotter than JB.
Esp my grandma's, i always called it a Hell. Lolz. Cuz of the stupid position of the house,
due to the stupidity of the developer to build the house in that position...
in the afternoon from about 2pm onwards...
then sun will shine directly into the house.
And you know....just for an hour...the whole house would be so heaty and stuffy,
Torture!!

DSC00911

Alor Setar ppl is so proud with this== Kedah Tower.
Something like KL tower.....
except...hahaha
Its much shorter ( ai dong gua) and.....a very stupid design
People cannot go up the tower on windy days....and rainy days.
Stupid right??? They say the wind will don't know how block the lift from going up.
Stupid.....

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If you think this is some mosq....
then u are sOOOO WRONG!!!
THis is.......
a very very special place....
Lookz like a mosque, but chinese can go in de....
You know where???

GIANT HYPERMARKET la...
Hahaha.
This building is called....er...some Al...something...can't remember
But, i can assure u, this is not a mosque...i went in before neh.

p/s: i think unless u come from terengganu or kelantan....i doubt u ever seen Giant inside a mosque?? Lolz

DSC00915

My grandma house.....
yup...that wood house....beside a mosque
lolz.....

Bluff u la...

DSC00916

This is my grandma's place...
my grandma...neh...that one coming out from the car....

DSC00917

The jungle which my grandma is so proud of...
she really can do gardening....anything planted by her "gold hands", will live long and produce good fruits.
So, thats why i never run out of fruits supply when i stay there.
Hehe

DSC00918

The coolest place in the whole house....
Its a longan tree....
YES.....we can plant longan in M'sia...
Longan don't survive only in Thailand k.
Quite sweet la....i tried once only...never lucky enough to meet the season.

DSC00919

Talking about this....
its a sewing work by don't know who...
but let me tell u...
because of this thing...
i was a good girl since young.
Why?
Cuz grandpa say " if u naughty, i call this tiger to eat u at night".
Freak me out la.....summore it was hung in the stair way last time....
make me dare not go up the stairs myself....
and dare not come out from the room to get a cup of water in the middle of the night.
Ish...

Now, it stays outside la (cuz we moved from a double story house to single story...there is no stair way to hung this)

DSC00920

used to be my grandpa's office and his place to "eat snake"
Sigh...
that wooden chair is a very comfy thing....
provided you know how to sit la...
haha.....eh...don't think its an easy thing k...
trust me...if u not careful enough to balance urself...
you would be flung off to the floor by that chair. hahaha.
And...see....the blue stools behind that woodden chair?
It shows how popular my grandma house, and how big my family is.....haha
Sometimes have to sit on the floor cuz no more stools...damn cham

DSC00921

If you think this is a store room...then you are totally WRONG
This is where we hung our clothes to dry...
ahahaha....can't believe leh...
and...
also where my grandpa close her chickens....see that blud bucket on the lower right corner?
below that bucket is a cage with at least 2 chickens....
Lolz. Sometime...
i feel rather geli....my clothes....and the chicken stay in the same area...
lucky i am not sensitive to anything that comes out from chicken's body...
or...maybe i am already USED to it?? lolz.

DSC00924

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DSC00922

My dog...
Lolz...
he LOVES there...cuz he had loads of fun chasing after everyone's chickens...
making them had diarrheo. Yup, when chicken got frighten, the chicken will have diarrheo. Lolz
So...to prevent him scaring everyone's chicken...and also prevent him getting ticks...
we lock him up in the house....
he looks so kelian right?
Haha

DSC00928

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DSC00926

On our way back to KL....
a tired dog...
sleeping on my pillow (how dare him)
Trust me...i flung him off my pillow after i took the picture
Hahaha....
He looks so down, and sad....
according to my mum, he looks
just like how my brother and I looked when we were young..
we don't want to leave kampung...but HAVE to leave kampung that kind of look

I guess....thats the end of everything !!! If you want to have good food, good seafood..good beer, good clothes all for cheap price, do let me know. I will bring you back for a stroll ......and remember to bring ur passport as well...so we can go thailand...muahahaha....shopping la....not go find "chicken" okie...lolz.

Holidays; Family; Drama

2008-08-14T22:48:00.000+08:00

Holidays:
Yup, am having holidays now, although it is...er...sort of self declared ones. =)
Come on, i haven't had any holidays since 31st March till now, since i got the chance of having 2 weeks of private studies.....if i don't take this as holidays, when am i going to have any holidays? haha
Been busy these few days......lolz....busy with reading novels, busy with watching drama...busy with catching up with my sleep. Lolz. Talk about sleep, all this while i thought i am such a lazy bump for needing about 6-7hours of sleep per day (esp during exams, everyone seems like sleep is something alien to them).. BUT BUT BUT....muahaha, today, i read the newspaper and got to know that for normal aldults, the optimum sleeping time per night is 7hours to assure a good functioning brain. Muahaha. So, you know.....ahaha, my brain been functioning well la. (+.+)

Novels, hmm, believe me or not, i can read up to 3 novels per day...haha. So these few days....erm, i guess i had been reading more than 10 books already. Phew, start to feel a bit tired though.......and start to feel a bit guilty too, lolz, since i only touch 2 notes.....ahaha...pai seh. (ZoZ)
One nice novel that i love for the time being...erm.......hahaha...is about 2 close friends. Nothing wrong with being close friends...but...the weird thing is....the 2 close friends are from different gender. Lolz. Its is....not weird, okay, it is UNCOMMON. The 2 friends are being so closed till their gf/bf cannot stand them and broke up with them. And, as usual, for happy ending (may they live happily forever after...awweee), the 2 of them become husband and wife. Hmm, why i like it? Erm, perhaps due to the 1st time reading such novel? As in, such story line.....haha, and trust me, although i read it about 1 week ago...i still like it today !!! (^,^)

Family:
Grandpa been here for almost 2 months, which meant our summative exams had been over for about 2 months too. Sigh. We are going to send him back to my Aunt's place in Sungai Petani this coming merdeka day since my mum been feeling awfully tired and stressed out.....so you know, its time we have a rest.

Grandpa has incontinence recently. We noticed it few days ago, at 1st was just few faeces dropping oout from his trousers.......then.......he can't urinate properly and made the whole floor urine all over the place and today, he just cannot control and he Poo right after he pulled his trousers down........before the got the chance to sit on the toilet bowl. Sigh. Just don't ask me how bad the smell is....and how bad the condition looks like. All i can tell you is.......his trouser, his shirts, his slippers....all with his own poo....oh, one note to mention, we are unlucky to have sticky and fluidy poo this time, unlike the past hard and round. Sigh

I saw a sad old man today......sitting in his room, feeling completely helpless, hateful of himself, angry and sad. I don't know what to do nor what to say. I wished that some BS lecturer was sitting right beside me, coaching and teaching me how to counsel that kind of patient. All i did was, to tell him "its okay.....its not your fault, every old people has this kind of problem......don't worry......." and give him some pat on the shoulder.

It seems to me that my "counselling session" did not help at all, since all he said was " i wish i can die earlier, when is your dad and brother coming back? Tell them to come see me, i am going to die soon". Sigh. I have no idea how to help him anymore.

Mother been very worried about this problem lately. There is no way that my grandpa is going to wear Dr. Pao (for your info, aldult Pampers is call Dr. Pao), he would rather die than wear and if he doesn't, are we going to change his bed sheets, trouser, shirts, blanket 3 times a day? Oh, and not to say to wipe the floor, to wash the toilet and to clean the whole house (trust me, due to indigestion, their faeces is EXTREMELY stinky).

Whats more, he didn't want to eat......from finishing a bowl of porriage, he nows barely eat 2 spoons. Sigh. He requested to have plain porriage and we provide him although we feels that there is no nutrient in it at all........but now, he just refuse to eat. And, not only lunch and dinner, he refuse breakfast and tea which he used to love last time. I don't know.......is he...starving himself? So he can die faster? (T.T)

Drama:
Oh well, come, let me intro you some nice drama to wash that sadness away.
What comes into your mind when 5 boys attended a whole girls school that has 100years of tradition and because of financial problem, they open up the school to make it into co-ed school? And, what is the thing that school don't teach? Esp when you are a teenager? Lolz.

Well, the drama which i want to recomend is call Gakko Ja Oshierarenai which means
Things That We Didn't Learned From School.

After watching the drama, i realize that it is true. Schools don't teach this kind of thing. What will you do when you got to know you are pregnant? How do you handle masturbation? What do you do if you feel like killing someone after having such heavy family pressure? What if i suddenly likes someone from the same gender? None.........as in, schools never teach such thing. All school taught me was " no gf/bf relationship" " No fighting and quarreling" blah blah.

The whole drama was funny, it starts off with 5 boys attending the girl school which has about 600 female pupils and there is this Disney Fanatic teacher who pulled the 5 boys into the Social Dance club along with 5 weird female students who....attended that club because they were being boycott in every means and don't know what club to join.

Try it if you have time......it is HILARIOUS.

Gakko Ja Oshierarenai

Well......till next time then...time for Project Runway....muahahaha
Jah Neh !!

Funny...

2008-08-09T23:21:00.000+08:00

Er, went to IMU chinese Singing Competition few days ago...
actually i have LOADS to say about it....but never mind...better not. Whats over is over.

Hope you all enjoy this group's singing. They may not be the best singer...but they are the best entertainer !!!

Opps...looks like i cannot put up a video here unless i download it. Never mind....just go and watch yea....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZdXr4KMdb8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZdXr4KMdb8

The group is call Lipas or Cockroach !! =p

Tomorrow...

2008-08-04T22:25:00.000+08:00

Hehehe, maybe recently, im too free kot...so been watching quite a few japanese drama. Eh, no kidding k, the last one which i recomend --Koizora, even the newspaper also recomend it. So if you haven't watch.....do get ur ass down on the seat and go find the link to download !! (*U*)

Nah, this one......is by another leng chai also.....so while you are watching, not only you can "enjoy" watching leng chai...haha, can also feel the drama. All i can say is....its a very nice drama. Try it out !!

(*V*)y (cheers)

转职成为市政府职员的医生重归外科医生岗位,立志重建医院

演　員

竹野内豊（森山航平・35）／菅野美穂（田中愛子・28）／緒川たまき（遠藤紗綾・35）／黒川智花（田中七海・19）／エド・はるみ（原田和子・ 45）／永田彬（加藤圭太）／橋本真実（杉山麻衣）／有村実樹（滝沢希美）／秋田真琴（三島千夏）／沢木ルカ（マコト）／氏家恵（橋元聡子）／村松利史（金子歩）／六角慎司（薮内二郎）／田中実（片岡庸一）／志賀廣太郎（柿沼高太郎）／大沢あかね（安田涼子）／松田美由紀（安田早苗）／永島暎子（田中好美）／陣内孝則（蓮見洋治・50）／岸部一徳（仙道郁夫・59）

KKB

2008-07-31T14:21:00.000+08:00

Been to KKB since last Sunday.....wasn't expecting much from KKB since i had been there once (about 1 year ago) and i know, no matter how much it has changed, it won't be so obvious and it would certainly not been a change towards a better place.

Anyhow, here are what i did in KKB.

1. Clerking

yes, every morning, after the briefing at 9am, we will be group into 2 person per group and walk to the wards, and greet the patient that is allocated to us that day. I got 1DM patient, 1 HPT patient (this is actually not my patient, its some one's else la..but i tumpang. Haha) and last but not least, a 8mths pregnant mother. They are all fine. Very good and cooperative. They even let us perform physical examinations. And, from that, i know i sucks in Antenatal P.E. haha. They rest of the system, i can perform well without studying....but not for Antenatel, maybe i am just not talented enough for O&G, i guess?? =)

2. Presentation

Oh, this is the one that makes me into Dr. Lim's favourite girl. Well, we were asked to make our clerking history into short summary and present to Dr. Lim, one of our IMU lecturers. And, i also don't know it is a good luck or a bad luck, i was picked as the 1st to present. SHIT! haha. Anyhow, my poor patner went to the front to face the crowd, while i sat behind and defend him. lol. The funny thing is, i defended so much that at the end, Dr. Lim mistaken me as someone else and the people around me told me that i should go to the front instead of hidding in the crowd of people.

3. Food.

Wah, all i can say about the food there is....CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP (like a bird neh...haha). Chirp = cheap la. Imagine, we had 2 dinners at this restaurant call 98, once we have 13 people, ordering 4meat and 4vege, it only cost about Rm116 and the other one time, we have 10 people, ordered 2meat,4vege, which cost us about RM 86. Cheap neh? Then another restaurant called Ng Soon Kee, we ordered a claypot vegetarian tofu, a lemon chicken, an ostrich meat and 3 vege, it only cost 10 of us about RM 80. CHEAP OR NOT LA??? FAST FAST CHIRP with me....hahaha. =p Well, all except the lunch in the canteen. I can't believe that the food is so expensive !! See ah, i took 3 vege 1st day, it cost me Rm 5, the next day i took 2 vege, and again it cost me Rm 4.90?????? Lolz.

5. Pasar Malam

Yeah, i was right. I remembered the dates for pasar malam there well. It is indeed 9th and 29th of each month, even though after a year, the dates have not been changed yet. So, we went, but not until after a dinner with dearest Dr. Lim (she say want to know us better wor). The crowd is still there, the same atmosphere of people singing and even dancing in the middle of the pasar malam, the same type of smell from the stalls (fried fried stuff), the same amount of smoke floating around in the air esp in that particular lane where all the stalls are there, and the same old bubble tea stall sitting at the same old corner. haha. Sadly, i ordered the wrong drinks. When i went back to buy another one, i was told that the choice i want has sold out (heart broken....sob sob sob). Well, instead, i went to another stall, bought some mexico chocolate.........all i can say is......it so sweet.....sweet from the SYRUP not the chocolate. Aih =.=!!!

6. Hostel

Hmm, this time i was allocated in 1st floor along with my room mates (Nor Ailing, Alicia Si, Vivien, Sandy, Sara and Pei Chii). The place is still the same except that it is more...er...living (last time i was in 2nd floor,where it is so deserted, only IMU students living in that whole floor). Toilets are still so bad as usual, not to say dirty and rusted........1st time in my life, i understand how it feels when you have the urge to go toilet, but when you are in the toilet....you just cannot do anything cuz the condition is SO BAD. I don't mind much about cold water seeing that my family trained me up using cold baths, but i do mind a lot about the mosquitoes and stuffiness. OMG.

7. Room mates
All i can say is they are all FUN.

8. peoples

Oh yes.........i got to know few peoples better esp HOR JIAN MIN. I tell you, he keeps on bothering, keeps tease me, keep kacau me ...blah blah blah...whatever you can think of and even say i am trying to seduce him just because i am wearing a sleaveless blouse and i took out my lab cot infront of him (not on purpose, but its because he sits beside me. ) But, you know, he is fun. Haha. Always uses his CHARMNESS to talk to girls. Lucky is chaRm not CHAM.....haha. Anyway, I hate to admit it, but well, he is seriously quite good looking.......(i hope he don't see this...or he would laugh his head off since i don't want to admit infront of him)Besides him, there is Kim (which i never talked to him yet in my 2 years IMU life), the malays esp Farhan, my patner in clearking. He is a nice chap. And, many more.............Ailing la, Alicia la.....lah blah.

*note, i guess of so many people, i like alicia best !! hehe.

9. Memories

Quite a few memories this time.

a. I got banged by IMU bus. Er, correction, is not ME. but my car. haha. I was behind the bus and Jeremy was behind me (yes, ah teng, the Jeremy from the double J which i told you in sem 2). The bus stops after turning into a lane. Then suddenly, without any sign, the bus reverse and i honked him long and loud. BUt, still, the bus kiss my bonnet (why should the bus loves my car so much? I love my car not enough meh?)Anyhow, not to worry, the boss of the bus will pay me back ( i think will cost about RM 500 ++)

b. Labour. OMG!! I tell you, we were so enthu the 1st day we reached there that after the dinner, we just put on our lab coats and went to the labour ward. We missed the 1st delivery since the nurse didn't come and inform us although we were just strolling outside the ward, so we turned smarter and wait inside the ward and peep over the short wall which divide 2 beds into different cubicle. Haha. SO, you know, we didn't exactly take PERMISSION from the pregnant lady. After seeing that labour.....i have mixed feelings. I don't know whether i still want to get pregnant next time....and i don't know whether i want to undergo natural birth or epidural birth or cecearian. what i know clearly is.....I DON"T WANT TO HAVE EPISIOTOMY!!! IT HURTS !!! AND IT BLEEDS A LOT till i feel dizzy !!! OMG !! ( i have a friend who pengsan....haha)

c) Lameena's Birthday.

Oh this.....i basically went round and round the KKB town (which consist only 2 streets...haha) to find a cake for her. But, the effort was worthwhile since she was so surprised, shocked and HAPPY. Geehee..... =p

d) the best thing of all

I can speak CONFIDENTLY infront of everyone now!! Wee....i don't mind standing up, be in the spotlight to present and i don't mind putting up my hands and ask questions !!! Weeeeeeee~~~~~~~~

p/s: i guess thats all enough......i am just glad to come back to some civilisation, but if you improve the toilets, stuffiness and less mosq....best if you can build a house for me and let me keep clean myself......haha....then i don't really mind staying there for few months. =)

GP Posting In Shah Alam With Pei Chi !!!!!!!

2008-07-25T23:54:00.000+08:00

Been away for quite some time.....
Sorry to those who has been waiting for me to update (or maybe i am just syok sendiri-ing?)

Anyhow, i had been to a 5 days free-labour work with a GP. Haha. No la, joking, its an attachment with a very nice GP in shah alam.

Come to think about it now, i felt that it is sort of "fated" that i am to go to that clinic. Why? Cuz before the dead line for submitting the GP clinics that we are going, i did asked few of the GP around my housing area and most of them say "no". And the only one, nearest to my house, which i did not ask........actually is the BIG fish.....since my batch mate got him. But, when i knew that fact, it is too late for me to say no to my new patner. So, after GAZING at the list which every one was fighting for it few weeks ago (and left very little empty places for me).......i found this clinic called Poliklinik Sri Muda, which i don't know why, none of my batch mate wrote their name there.

Seeing the fact that it is better to make up my mind to travel to Shah Alam than being thrown by AAD to some unknown places (which might end up in sarawak?)......i put mine and Pei Chii's name on it and SET everything.

The 1st day, Pei Chii and I had a smooth journey on Federal high way (later we found out that it is only a 5 mins journey from my house using Kesas) although i expected some jams here and there. Halfway on our journey....only we realize that we are actually on the opposite way of the "jams"....haha, so....you know, we laughed at other ppl who are stuck in jam la...what else? =p

About 30-40mins, we reached a place called Tmn Sri Muda, thanx to the old map which is about my age. And...........WE GOT LOST....on the 1st day it self. Haha. Stupid Shah Alam, their road are not sequence at all.........as in say USJ6/2, then the next road will either be USJ 6/3 or USJ 6/2A.....something like that.....NO. Shah Alam road is 1st road might be call some Jalan Faedah, then the next road would be some jalan Syurga or some Jalan Syabas la...blah blah blah. So, imagine, we have to find a road call Jalan Hidayat among all .....er.....about 100roads there? Lucky that Pei Chii has a friend who stays in Shah Alam, we gave him a call and only then, we found out we turned at the wrong turning at the previous roadabout. Sigh.

Thank God, 1st day, we reached, safely, at 7.50am. THe dr wasn't in yet and the Girls at the register counter asked us to go have breakfast 1st........so we went, to come back, finding the Dr actually started seeing patients quite some time ago. "Oh Shit" was the 1st thing that comes into my mind. "we ARE LATER than the dr, if he is not nice, he will kill us on the 1st day itself....then the next 5 days will be miserable!!".

But, nah...the dr was extremely nice. Not so nice at 1st....maybe cuz he wants us to not step over his head? He told us some basics rules sternly (lab coats, ID and steteoscope ) But later on, he is a very very, super nice dr. He talks to us as if we are his friends and not some freshies students........and even if we forgotten something he taught yesterday....the most is he will tease us and thats all. We can ask any questions we can think of and he will try to help us ( which i asked a lot on my health....and got a comment from him ' you ah, old women immunity la....GO EXERCISE MORE!!!" haha.)

We had fun there, we actually have a ROOM to ourself...(pah pai leh?) its a not so commonly used consultation room where we started our 1st job there and later on that room is our " eat snake" world. haha. Eat snake = running away from errands becoz we are lazy. Our 1st job was easy, just take BMI (height, weight), then vision, urine and the most diff part is the BP. Why? Not that we don't know how to take BP....but we don't know how to USE that thing. Haha. Apparently, according to the dr, that type of BP machine is the old version...thats why "new" dr don't know how to use. (tease us la...obviously).

If you think our jobs are THAT easy, you are in a BIG mistake. No way, the dr actually will occasionally send some patient to us and throw a sentence to us “examine him/her”. So, we have to start asking history….then proceed into PE….and 1^st day got banged by him cuz forgotten to take BP and pulse when doing CVS and respi. And, occasionally too, he would call us into his room and point to some skin problems on the patient and ask us what is that. Goodness my, the only fungal I knew is Candidiasis and Aspergillosis (okay la…add another one, histoplasma)…but that 3 is NOT COMMON AT ALL!!! In his clinics, you will get ring worms…..some what pityblah blah…vermicularis……can’t remember….or else dermatitis. Got banged a lot by him…but, to speak the truth, I learnt a lot. My scope for fungal is not so “small” now. Lolz.

Food….oh yes, Pei Chii and I CONQUERED that small area…….and we went on to some bigger area. Haha. We even found a place where the accountant who comes in twice a week don’t even know. Geng leh? Basically, the food there is….okay…..lots of variety (don’t apply to the area around the clinic cuz you only get 1 chinese shop there and the rest are MAMAK). Only La Lavender café’s food is nice and not to say cheap. Can you find a shop that sells Fish and chips, or chicken chop that comes with mushroom soup, dessert and ice lemon tea for RM 13.90 NET (no gov tax nor service charge) or clay pot seafood tomyam with LOADS of seafood (the squids and prawns are complaining to suffocation in the tomyam soup) with a big plate of rice that has some keropok, a thai dish call Ah chat, sambal and comes with an ice lemon tea for only RM 9.90 NET again. Can you find THAT KIND OF PLACE????

Neway

The Mee-C (register girls la...and also aka dispensary girls), are very, extremely nice. There are 3 of them, Komala, Christina and Parames. Parames, according to the dr, is the BIG boss cuz she holds the key to the store, Komala is another Big boss due to her size and Christina another boss due to her character (bubbly and straight). Haha. So end up, the real boss is NOT a boss....

Well, i can't state here how much i learned from Dr. Nirmal. From medical knowledge to how to diff whether that person who comes in is to get a MC and pretending to be sick...or that person is REALLY sick and needed a MC. And and.....he also taught us on finance management......to politics. Haha. Oh, and gave us few piece of advice too. For example (beside the telling me off to start exercise): " don't let me see you 2 sit in a GP clinic, i would walk in to shoot u!!". haha. Then after a while....he would think think....then change his advice into " don't let me see u practice in M'sia...i will shoot you 2". Lolz. Need i say more about his political views? Nah...i don't think so.

Dr. Nirmal......i really don't know how to express my greatest gratitude to him. He has been so patient, so kind and friendly.......not a single speck of arrogance in his mind.......

Part of the "eat snake" room

Another End of that same room
See someone is "eating snake" there?
hahaha

Under the registration Counter
not good if seen by Patients that Dr. Nirmal Hired 2 have fun staffs mah...

Pei Chii told me....
must put big big
" GP POSTING WITH PEI CHII IN SHAH ALAM"
=p

Cashier loo....what else? Looks dark cuz that time no electricity
Sudden cut off...
Dr didn't pay electric bills!! hahaha
No la...joking saja....TNB stuffs....

Outside of the clinic

Nah...the clinic which i went to

See Dr's car? Mercedes ler...
On right, 4th car from front...
next to a proton
Plus a view of the clinic's neighbours

The nicest and no doubt the most expensive door in that whole row of shops
So, you just keep walking until you come to a NICE door...
you would know you come to the clinic...no need to see the sign board

From the door, this is what comes into your eyes 1st
See someone is there....
Looking extremely bored...
cuz Dr went to Ponteng adi...
hahahaha...
no electric...nothing to do la...

Oui...Mee-C...why u reading Cleo?
Takda Kerja Buat kah
Patient nak register la....

Cashier again
Oh, btw, whole clinic is computerised...
no papers lying around....
even the dr uses PC to type in all the Signs and Symptoms as well as diagnosis
Needless to say, the printer will print the tags for the medicine case lo

Nothing much, i just find them nice!!

the 3 precious Adrenaline
I tot it was expensive, thats why the dr put it in such a PROTECTIVE way...
nah...
according to him, quite cheap...haha

The dr's dragon seat....
Seat is empty cuz dragon went out ponteng...
hahaha....
joking la...
he went out to do some stuff...
and since no patient...why not?

This is what i called as the secret tunnel
right behind the row of documents when viewed from patient's seat
We can move freely here, jump from this room to that room then again back to this room...also pt won;t know (or maybe they do? haha...just that we don't know?)

Nebuliser on the shelf
and the examination couch....
my BED when i eat snake..
hahaha

See? water don't fall out at all although i put it at 90 degrees
Come on la...i don't know how to do the what what photo tricks neh
and its impossible to get that water level line in such a way if i am to do some photo trick

see la...u don't belive me.....
now i tilt it for u to see i am not LYING!!

nah....
same goes to the cap as well.....
full of water...but won't come out de

believe me or not now???
Anyway...this is my lameness disease...
hahaha...
just ignore me!!

this is the old version of sphygmomanometer
there is no such thing as something to seal the end.....
just plain cloth attach to 2 tubes
do you know how to use it???
Ask me la....faster faster...im waiting !!
hahaha

Sit: Christine
Beside me is : Komala
Parames has half day today and i didn't know...
aih....

GP POSTING WITH PEI CHII
hahahaha...purposely wrote that to tease her...

Tracy the accountant
Just got to know her today...
Looks young right? Guess her age bah...you would be amazed

Sick of writing that same line again....
neway...
this is Pei chii and Tracy

The photo that i love most
Fr Left to Right : Me, Dr. Nirmal and Pei Chii

I guess....that covers up all about my GP posting !!

～　恋　空　～ koizora

2008-07-19T23:33:00.000+08:00

If you like One Of Litre of Tears, then you might like this as well……

Was very free today, so decided to watch this movie………and once I started it, I felt that I cannot stop myself from watching the whole 2hr movie.

Got to know this Koizora thing was when I went to Kinokuniya. I saw a thick book on a “no man” lane….haha….no one is at that row of books and I just decided to walk into that row. Then I saw this book call恋　空 (koizora), which has a big band over the cover saying that it has over 12000thousands readers and it has been sold over 1000copies in the 1^st month of selling. It was also said to be “ the 2^nd generation of One Litre Of Tears” “extremely touching and romatic”. So, well, I decided to go home and see whats so great with this book.

Almost forgotten about it until few days ago, I saw the DVD on the shelf in Popular book store. There were hundreds of DVDs there and yet the only DVD attracted my eye is this and since then, I knew I MUST watch it.

And, today, I did not regret watching it. It was really GOOD!! Better than one litre of tears since that drama, each and every episode, the director will try to make you cry. But no, although this movie is quite sad, it is not as “cry-able” as one liter of tears. So try it yourself !!

2000年夏，普通高中一年级学生美嘉与帅气的同级生阿弘偶然相识，两人由此坠入了爱河。然而，超乎想象的可怕事件袭向美嘉。在阿弘的爱的支持下，美嘉心中的伤口才渐渐愈合。另一个出乎预料的“大事件”接踵而来——美嘉怀上了阿弘的孩子。美嘉把这个消息告诉阿弘后，阿弘笑着说：“请把我们的孩子生下来吧。”两人约好要一起抚养这个孩子。可是在圣诞夜，意外的悲剧再度降临在美嘉身上。虽然美嘉为之痛苦，但她和阿弘之间的感情却因此更深了一层。

两个人越过了各种各样的困难，发誓永远相爱。谁料到了二年级的春天，阿弘突然提出分手，让美嘉大受打击。在朋友们的鼓励下，伤心欲绝的美嘉重新振作了起来，同时，大学生优出现在了她的生活中。为了斩断对弘的思念，美嘉开始和优交往。深爱美嘉的优还帮助美嘉闹离婚的双亲复合。为了回报优的温柔，美嘉决定忠于这场平稳安然的恋情，毕业后她考进了优所在的大学。

又到了圣诞夜，美嘉突然得知了阿弘离开她的真相……

Direct Eng Translation [sorry, will try find one....]
2000, summer, normal high school 1st year student, Mika and handsome, same year student Hiro got know each other and they fell in love. However, things that are out of imagination and horrible happened to Mika. Under Hiro's love and are, Mika stood up from the horrible night mare. However, another unexpected thing happened to Mika -- She is pregnant. Mika told Hiro about it and Hiro told her " please give brith to our child " 2 of them promised to raise the while themselves. However, on christmas eve, sadness again showered on Mika. Mika was very hurt but due to that, the relationship between them got even better than before.

2 of them went through various of obstavles, promising to love each other forever. Who knows that, 2nd year Spring, Hiro suddenly decided to break up with Mika and land Mika into deep grieve. With loads of support from her friends, the disappointed Mika decided to stand up from the broke up, and at the same time, she got to know a University student - Yu. To stop herself from thinking of Hiro, Mika started going out with Yu and Yu who loves Mika with all his hearts even helped Mika's parents from being divorced. To repay Yu's kindness, Mika decided to be loyal to this relationship, after she graduate from her high school, she got admitted into the University where Yu is currently at.

On christmas, Mika suddenly got to know the real truth of why Hiro decided to break up and leave her......

Staring:
Yui Aragaki as Tadahara Mika
Haruma Miura as Sakurai Hiroki
Keisuke Koide as Fukuhara Yu
Karina *she is a beaty!!* as Sakurai Minako
etc etc

Short...

2008-07-19T00:27:00.000+08:00

Was planning to blog earlier on, but after one whole day of writing my stupid report on present and future of tissue transplant....i really have no more mood anymore. Just enjoy my SS pictures la k...haha

*i finally understand why ppl don't write 10,000 words thesis in a day......haha, cuz the feel is horrible...!!! I finally broke m record of writing 15352words in A DAY!!! Not including my reference and cover....hahaha. Feel like dying nah....

Anyway,

Today, is the result day for m summative....i know i moaned a lot for it and i was really afraid to take it.......and really fearful to open it up....

Finally....i decided not to be a chicken......after praying hard *yes, WC, i MUST PRAY before i open...haha*

Nah, must check name dulu...
later good result also happy for nothing...
Hehe

When i 1st open, i actually saw the A- grade
Terkejut Aku...
Why suddenly i did so well?
Thought i did badly for the paper?

So, proceed to reading the correct grade...

B+....
A Grade higher than the past summative
In fact, the best result i got for 2 yrs in IMU
Although the paper is a killer

How do i feel??
I guess this picture is enough said...
Hehe
Wee~!

Somehow, i like my outfit today, may look aunty to you....but sorry lo, i memang like aunty style...cannot meh?

I look fat from here..
but why i look nicer out of the camera screen?

Decided to take another one...
just the blouse....

To end everything off......
=)

PM5 Seafood Outing

2008-07-13T22:46:00.001+08:00

Nah, this is the promised photos for the seafood outing last Fri
not many since i forgotten to take during Dinner and
this was taken during Mamak-ing

Okie dokie....i got to go bath

Winter Wear

2008-07-13T22:33:00.000+08:00

I don't know why, i had been receiving quite a number of winter wears ever since my relatives knew that one day, i am to fly to overseas and spent few years there living in "hardship". They don't come in bulk, as in, maybe today XX gave me something, then maybe after 3-4 months later, another XX gave me something, so on and so forth.

So, when i received something branded that my beloved future kakak ipar gave me, i wasn't surprised at all (so, got branded stuffs only call beloved la??? Nah, do i look like i look up on some one who is rich?? ). In fact, i suddenly realized that the day for me to leave is getting nearer and nearer.

I decided to blog on what my kakak ipar gave me, then i suddenly remembered that few days ago, when my brother opened up his luggage, he gave me quite a number of winter clothings too, so, since i am to take photo of my kakak ipar's present, i can "shun bian" take photos on my brother's too.

So, i went to search for the so called box hidden under my bed (according to my mum)

And i FOUND

DSC01083

Yes, a box, but looks like it is going to burst any time

When i opened it up......

DSC01082

Yes, i am not surprised that you are shocked...
I AM SO SHOCKED when i 1st saw it

FULL OF THINGS (will elaborate after i put up all photos)

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Yes, everyone, this is a scarf (duh)
But i like the colour

COMPARE TO THIS

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I really no eye see =.="

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DSC01062

I quite like this one...
1st time i smiled so nicely

DSC01063

Next, is this.....Given by my uncle's mum (see...the connection runs so far away)

Hahaha

DSC01065

If you think this is a piece of rug, then you are so wrong and idiot!!
Said adi is winter wear mah !!

Nah, show you how it should be worn

DSC01066

Nice leh?
Best used in spring...
Don't jealous yea

DSC01067

Okay, i am SS....
[=.=]"

DSC01074

This is by my brother, i like the pattern knitted on the hat/cap?

DSC01068

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Nice ?
of coz asking you about my face not the hat la....hahaha

DSC01073

I actually like this the best
Should be bought by my Kakak Ipar this year(but brother pay)
Cuz i don't think my brother is so STYLISH!!
Muahaha

DSC01071

DSC01072

Looks like i am going golfing or something like that...
haha

Doreen Saw is so going to beat Tiger Wood in golf?
Haha, SS la me

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Ear muff
Look similar? Last year my brother bought for me
but i put it on Ah tut's ear !!
hahaha

DSC01196

Remember this??

And

This

DSC01198

Lolz

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This is how it would look like on me

DSC01077

FINALLY, my Kakak Ipar's gift
Actually, the gift is one of my very rare banded stuffs
Instead, if i don't count the Barbie given by my classmate when i was in primary
And 2 other shirts by my mum
This is the 1st time i get such expensive branded stuffs
(yes yes, all m stuffs are from pasar Malam...haha)

DSC01079

As you can see from the box
Scarf (not HIV sign nor pink ribbon for breast cancer k) and
Gloves

DSC01081

This is how the scarf looks like, Double colour
and i think can use front and back.....
just like my SONY MP3 cover....
Hey...if i use with that....its a
PERFECT MATCH!!!

DSC01080

Just as i was thinking, i should go buy a gloves before i go overseas (just told mum today)
suddenly, this arrives to my hand just now...
Thank Q, my dear Kakak Ipar....
I can really fly to overseas adi....

Before i forget, let me put on a picture of m future Kakak Ipar, see whether you know her or not...hahaha

DSC01011

My Brother and She in Uni
(my brother looks like a white carrot....don't know why....haha)

DSC01763

She is so sweet right?

Just now i was talking to her tru phone and i felt so shy and topicless talking to her
Lucky she think of a lot of topic to talk off, or the atmosphere would be so cold...
hehe

Anyway

THANK Q to all nice people out there who gave me all the presents, although i some of it i didn't put it on the blog, it don't mean that i don't like it or i don't appreciate it. But, seeing the box is so full with stuffs given by all people, (my mum actually named the box "Doreen flying to UK stuffs" sweat la.), i really really cannot take pictures of everything in the box.....cuz 1. i will make a mess and my mum will chop my head off and 2. i really want to surprise myself when i open it up after i flew to overseas (not necessary UK la....)

Hontoni Domo Arigatou Gozaimasu

PM5

2008-07-12T01:51:00.000+08:00

Been out with the PM5 people for the long awaited Seafood Dinner.

To tell the truth, this meal wasn't as bad as i would think although.....the amount of money being sucked out from my wallet is quite bad...haha. Come to think about it, RM 24 for 3KG of crabs (gam heong and sweet and sour), butter "nai nui har" (or what dexter say "peeing prawns"haha), Oyster egg (oh-chian), lala bihun, Dang Hun (dong1 fen3), fry sotong (big plate and thick slices), seafood tofu, vegetable, i guess about 25 fried mantou to go with the sweet and sour crab, and 10 steam mantou......last but not least, fried ice-cream (i was lucky to be able to eat 2...yum yum), and a big dish of fresh FRUITS to wash everything down finally.............Are your saliver dropping out from you mouth? haha

So, i guess RM 24 would be quite cheap for ALL THAT. But, how often do i eat something that is RM 24? i guess not so often? haha, since it is like 1/8 of m monthly salary? Lolz. So, thats why it killed me a bit (never mind, go ask a bit of help from daddy).
Then then.....yes, there is a then, we went mamak for a drink right after our dinner, 13 of us shared out 2 big huge piece of Roti Tissue. haha. It amazed me that some of them never seen it before.

My head is bopping up and down.....i wonder what happened....i guess i am just too tired. Wanted to put up some pix......

Perhaps....next time?

Status...

2008-07-11T12:56:00.000+08:00

Been wanting to write on this long time ago, but due to all the hustle and bustle, i didn't got the chance to write (or i am just a lazy bump? =p )

Anyhow, let me start with what happened lately. Erm, my brother is finally back, bringing me loads of presents (all winter wear as if i am flying this Dec) and of course my favourite perfume. But, i don't know what happened, this time the perfume....haha...is not the perfume i wanted although it has the same name, same brand, same packaging, same company......all same...except the smell and the colour of the liquid. Cis. I just want a 10ml perfume, like that he also cannot do for me. Stupid la him. Haha. Anyway, he told him there is only 2 hypotheses : 1. The one i want is a fake perfume and i have no taste at all since i like fake stuff (this he totally agree) 2. The one he bought now is a fake one and its his mistake for not checking (i rather agree with this).

Well, about my grandpa, he had been unexceptionally good "boy" for the past week, perhaps its because my dad is at home? Haha. He is so nice, no bad words from him, no rudeness from him, no shouting from him........WHEN my father is AT HOME la. The other day, Monday, he thought my dad has departed to JB so he started shitting on the floor and stepping all the shit with his shoes and worst walk around the house making the house stink!! Lucky i wasn't at home but unlucky for him since my mum was very mad (no one cools her down) and my mum screw him up, threatening that she is going to lock him in the toilet with all the shit for 3 hours if he dare to do that again. Anyhow, he hasn't perform anything till now, perhaps my mum's threaten works? =)

Oh, and he has also been "revising" us with some info. lolz. Telling us each day, without fail that he WANTS to go back china. He has forgotten how the China relatives treated him and he now, wants to go back again. No way!! He keeps saying that if he dies here, the expenses would be very high but my dad tell him off by saying if he dies there, the expenses would be even higher !! Why? Erm, 1st i have 2 unreasonable aunt and uncle who knows nothing except showing off that they "has" money (truthfully, they can barely survive there and we are not going to help that 2 fellows). 2ndly, they make it more like a CARNIVAL than a FUNERAL.They can hire karaoke sets, they can hire great cook to cook for 60 Tables, they can ask for VSOP, Jack Daniels, Martin.....those really expensive liquor and expensive dishes like shark fin soup, abalone for EACH of the guest and the best thing is, the so call " funeral" last for 3days although the body must be cremated within 24hrs. See? who is going to pay for the expenses that the 2 F***er spent? My family loooh.....real smart la, all of you !! Hehe.

Now, back to my title (sorry la, i always talk on something else 1st then i got diverted from there).

Lately, many people been telling me about their status. No, not the money status.....nor the academic status....its about relationship status, Single? Attached? Available? Not available? Then i had a chance to talk to my girls.....and all of us were actually wondering........"is it wrong to be single at the moment?" Haha. I shall not point out what my girls had been talking to me since "patient confidentiality" is very important. Lolz.

Let me ask you, would you rather walk into relationship when all your friends around you are attached (no matter attached for fun or they really have feel) or would you rather stay still and wait for you prince/princess charming to walk by? Someone been telling me that their friends coupled up, just to "fill the time" and some one again told me that one of their friends regretted finding someone to "fill time" since now, she found someone she like and she felt hard to break up with the current bf. -sigh- sad. "Fill time". Love has been so cheap kah? Or am i the only one thinking high on love matters? Why can't you be alone, be yourself until the perfect person jumps out? haha. For me, i would choose the later option, i cannot stand if someone approach me, just to "fill time" i would really kick him off and never be friends again. haha. Talk as if i have high "market"..........sorry lo, will try to find the correct person...

K la want go lunch, hungry ler!! Tonite, is the long awaited Seafood !! Muahahahaha !!

Doggie Story

2008-07-06T21:56:00.001+08:00

I really had fun today....ahahaha........you might think, FUN? Your dog just got admitted into hospital and you are having fun?? Nah, i DID had fun......by laughing at my dog.....ahhahahaha

He is alright....er not 100%,but at least much better than yesterday when i saw him. The vet actually called us today so we can pick him up, i don't know why he did that, its 1st Sunday and he is supposed to be on holiday. But i am just glad that he is such a nice vet, that allow us to bring my dog home.

Nothing diff before and after the surgery actually. Except that his breast area were being shaved (ahahaha...every time i see it, i laughed a lot, damn funny), his right hand being bandaged after the canula was taken out and he has a HUGE plaster sticking at his abdomen area [will show you all picture afterwards]

He is not allowed to eat yesterday and today....we were even reminded to wait till 3pm today, before giving him milk (so accurate neh..) and not till tmr 3pm, that he is not allowed to eat canned meat food. So, he has to bear with all these, no dog biscuit, no abalone soup, no clean water added with special Vit C, none of these until a week later. Memang padan muka, who tell him to be so fast moving and swallow the needle? Muahaha. He can't even move around in the house but must be kept in a small pathetic area (a so call play pen made up of box plus 2 nets covered at the top to prevent him from jumping out). He has no rights in going out of the house to enjoy his free moving time and Pee-ing time........

DAMN funny...seeing him attacking the small bowl of milk when i give him........then clean the bowl up in like 5minutes and look up at me asking for more. Haha. He even showed the pathetic face to beg me for more food. Aih, sayang, not i don't want give you......but you really canot eat so much.

Well, here are the pictures....hope you all enjoy laughing with me......ahahahahhahaha

Ah Tut Being kept in his play pen...

Trying to smile and let me get him out
No Way, buddy !!

The milk was being "attacked"
This is what happens after 2 minutes

His bandaged right hand....
So now, cannot practice his dog's RIGHT adi..
haha, learn from WC

His breast till urinary area being shaved
Super funny, seeing it once full with fur, now with absolutely nothing

1st photo taken with me after he come back from hospital
Have to hug him like that to prevent tearing his abdomen area

A Sad looking dog....PADAN MUKA!!!!

His CLEAN breast and abdomen area....ahahaha with a BIG PLASTER
Thats where he got "opened up"

A Pathetic look from him, he wants to run!!!
TOo bad la, sayang !!

"Transitional Zone". Hahaha
From none-shaved(top) to shaved (bottom)

Right HAND !!!! Cute ler...
the whole thing actually looks neat !!

To celebrate him coming home, my mum bought this for him
Cheh....didn't buy anything for the sister!!
How could she? Not cheap for this neh !!

This is what he is going to eat tmr
PRESCRIPTION DIET wor...
DAMN DAI SAI

Canine and Feline.....
Oh boy, the company must make a lot of money wei...ahaha

You think its cheap????
No way, it is SO MUCH EXPENSIVE THAN MY TUNA FISH!!!!
My mum complaint on me buying a RM 3.20 tuna
and she bought 2 can of this for him?????
WHY IS WORLD SO UNFAIR TO ME???

EXTREMELY PALATABLE(what de...), HIGH PROTEIN (beh tahan),
HIGH CALORIE summore (my dog is going to get so fat)
to promote healing and speed recovery......
Let's see....

Panadol? hahaha...
Dog also need NSAIDs kah?

Another Medication....
cost RM 30 for only 2 medcine ler....
Nice packing anyway...

By Pfizer wor....i tot the company made some drugs for ED???
hahaha...
didnt know they actually are making some profits in animal world too!!
Cool !!

This is what the medicine looks like....
Profesional packing leh?

My dog is not even 6Kg, so how?
Break one tablet into 10 and give my dog 6 peice ah?
Hahaha
Just joking.....won't do such thing...
Oh, i like the "explaination, easy to understand neh...ahaha

My mum even bought this....and because my dog is such a big eater,
Tmr have to go buy another packet for him !!
Damn, 7.50 neh...why he gets all good stuff???
UNFAIR....
NO JUSTICE AT ALL

I wonder how natural can this milk be???
See the name in the pix above?
Pets Own.....wah liao
Lactose free summore
Sweat la..

I was going to taste it...until i saw this
You know, sometimes it won't kill to try tasting diff food
Hahaha.....
Species Discrimination
There is no human food which shows " FOR HUMAN ONLY"
but this..." PET FOOD ONLY????"
How can?

Cut off the above part where they say no preservatives...
Enzymes in it summore...now i know why it is so expensive...
and Vit......WTH!!!

Guaranteed analysis summore….

DAMN DAMN DAMN

Nah....read ur self, why this milk is so POWERFUL!!
Ada Ohm leh??

All in all, my dog spent RM 800 ....sigh, what with X ray, Laparatomy, admission, treatment, iv drip, antibiotics injection, follow up treatment, gifts and special food......

Should have throw him away and buy a new dog right? hahaha....a new puppy only cost RM 700.

Aih....

p/s: This lucky brat, i only learnt laparatomy a year ago and havent even seen it......he is only 1 year old and has already UNDER GONE it..............so lucky !! Damn !! I really having mental instability now...whats with all the unfair and unjustice !!!

My Doggie Saw Tut Tut aka Jolly Swaggy

2008-07-05T22:35:00.000+08:00

The whole house is so quiet and calm, without the usual, tiny ring sound from my dog's collar. It is such a sad scene where his bowl of unfinished food and a whole bottle full of clean water stands at the usual spot when the master is not around.

My family members are quiet today. Mum feeling as guilty, worried and sad. Dad feels helpless, sat quietly on the sofa, not uttering a single word for fear he might trigger the tears in my mum. I just, don't know what should i do. There is nothing to do suddenly, except to sit and wait, watching the clock ticking away. The whole household, is peaceful, gloomy and silent.

Everything happened so fast, that i do not have time to actually sit down and decide what is good for him and what is not. I am practically lost and worried, just like a child's mother worrying her child who is in an emergency situation.

Friday, when i came home from the lecture, i found Ah Tut lying on the floor, just at the door. He was quiet, unlike the usual jumping and scratching the door, he just lie on the floor, look at me and then put his head down again. I thought he was just being emotional on that day, so i just leave him alone, until my mum approached me and asked me to open his mouth to check for something which is not supposed to be in his mouth.

"Not supposed to be in his mouth? What do you mean?" was my 1st reaction, and my mum told me everything. He had just swallowed a sewing NEEDLE, about 4-5cm length. I was more than shocked, and i went straight at my dog, open his mouth as big as i can force him too look up and down, left and right in his mouth and then start sweeping his mouth with my finger. If it was on normal days, i would be scared to do so, he might BITE my finger off, but i just couldn't care that day. Let him bite me if he wants, I am going to to find the needle out. The needle can finish him off.

Sadly, no needle was found. I tried looking and sweeping few times, i even go to a deeper extent of putting a single finger into his throat to make him vomit. But, NO. No needle fell off. Then i told my mum to start sweeping the floor, in case she is wrong, the needle didn't fell into his throat but onto the floor.

While she was sweeping, she told me the whole story, guiltily.

" Grandpa was throwing tantrum about his pillow again. So, i took 2 pillows and put them on the chair with a roll of thread and a needle poking onto the thread. Then, i realize i didn't bring the scissors along, so i went back to the study room and when i got back, the roll of thread is in Ah Tut's mouth. I chased him, get back the thread, but the needle is not on the thread anymore. I saw he is chewing something in his mouth, so i open his mouth and found the needle stuck on his hard palate. I tried to remove it, but it was a difficult task and when i finally managed to remove the needle, Ah tut Swallow at the same moment and the needle just go down with his saliver. "

Then, maybe to relieved her guiltiness, she tried to blame all this on my grandpa then onto my dog....and no one else. I didn't say anything about blaming. It is not the time to blame but to try get the needle out. I was still hoping that he did not swallow the needle, so i decided to do an experiment. I try to make him bark by holding his favourite vitagen bottle high up so that he couldn't reach it. And yes, he bark, with a weird wuff....instead of wow wow wow and woff woff woff. A deeper, weirder bark as though something was stuck at his throat. Before i think of anything to do to him, he swallow again, and his bark returns to normal. -sigh-, i seems that i made things worst. So i took a lot of evening prim rose oil and forced it down my dog's throat, hoping he might feel nauseate and throw up. But, no, he didn't throw at all.

Maybe you would think why wouldn't i bring him to the Vet immediately? I can't, not that i don't want to. I have a grandpa at home and someone need to look after him every single minute. Then, the vet's clinic is in taipan, a place where there is only 0.01% of chance you can find a parking space. So, my mum and i have no choice but to wait till my dad come back from JB.

It was already 8pm when we finally go out to search for a vet but none of them were open. We even went to a pet shop whom we bought him, but the shop owner gave us more worry than calm. She said " the dog is going to die, no dog survives when he swallow such a thing and my mum starts to feel so sad and tears were almost trickling down her cheeks. So, we brought him back and yesterday night, for the 1st time in his whole life, my dog slept with me for fear he might feel pain at night and none of my family members know about it.

My dog woke me up with a weird smell this morning. A "pee" smell. I woke and found there were 2 patches of wet patch on my bed and yes, he peed on my bed. OMG. Not only my bed,my comforter, my bolster, all dipped in his urine, which is so much smellier than human's. He was extremely active, dare to bark at me when i look at him, as though trying to defend himself in a court. He even runs around when i tried to chase him. Everything looks fine. My decision of bringing him to a vet for an X Ray is starting to fade away.

But, my mum put her foot down and brought him to the vet which then told us to go to a place call "Healing Room" (i like the name) to get an X Ray done. It wasn't an easy task to take an X ray since he tried to fought my arms and another worker's arm. I never seen him struggle that much, till both his eyes are so red as though we coloured his eyes red. After a while, the X ray came out and to my horror, something which i do not want to admit although i know it should be.............the needle is RIGHT IN HIS STOMACH.

The radiologist (funny right? Thinking a dog has radiologist too), advice us to take the needle out as soon as possible before the needle puncture the GIT (gastrointestinal tract), there would be a high risk, but it is better to get the needle out before the GIT got punctured and he develops peritonitis. So, we went back to the Vet and showed him the X Ray. He gave the same advice and leave the decision to my mother and I. To operate or to leave it so hoping that my dog would pass the needle out. But seeing the way the needle lies in the stomach, it has low chance that it can even pass through the sphincter into the intestine.

I really cannot think. Either way is going to kill my dog and i cannot imagine how my life would be if suddenly my dog just die like that, almost the same time as last year, when my brother brought back a little pup and it died too. I just sat there and stared at my dog who still don't know he has create such a big problem and was still jumping up and down scratching me as much as he can.

Finally, mum make a decision to let him have the operation....................."we have no choice" is what she said to me. She is feeling more and more guilty not to say worry and sad. Her hands were shaking while she signed the consent form in which there is a line which has the meaning of "if the dog dies in the mid of operation, no one shall bear the responsibility" (can't remember the exact words). You know, i have always imagine me as a dr. giving out that form to the patient's family member....but not someone else giving that form to me. I can feel exactly what the patient's family members feel now. It is a helpless, nothing can be done, a 50: 50 chance, worried + sad + guilty + feel like crying + lost feel. (so all future dr, do be a bit more considerate next time when you hand them the form. Give them a pat, a hug or a tissue paper okay)

" don't worry, if something goes wrong, we shall give you a call" is what the clerk told my mum before we went home. We were told to come back at 5pm........

Now....

a bit of my dog's pix

DSC00010 (compress )

See him smiling away? a very naughty look

DSC00006 ( compress )

A fear look in him, a just add few effects to make the fear looks clearer...

DSC00008(compress)

Shh~ A tut is trying to be quiet....Cute right?

DSC00093

Hehehe, another smiling photo of his!!

DSC00094

Don't kacau, i am trying to taste back what i ate just now

DSC00097

Wee....WE ARE THE CHAMPION!!

DSC00928

The most recent pix i took since i have exams. This was taken while he was almost sleeping,
On our way back to KL from Alor Setar
See, his head lying on my pillow
What kind of dog is he?

-sigh- i miss my dog........

Er..............
Sorry to interrupt you feeling sorry for me, but my dog is not dead yet okay !!! Do not try curse him !!
Yes, indeed, he is alive, now kept in the cage in the vet's clinic. I guess he must be sleeping right now since it is almost bed time for him.

He has a great operation, about 4inch incision at his breast, the vet took out the stomach at 1st and tried to find for the little needle..........you know where they found it at last???? Its in the small intestine. apparently, the needle got through the sphincter and might be able to be passed out in few days time even if he don't under go surgery. Phew. If we knew this earlier.......we won't spent like RM 600 on him !!!!!! Its not cheap okay. X Ray took RM 80 ( i bet no human X ray is that expensive unless it is CT Scan or MRI). And the operation is about RM 500 plus......oh shit, i haven't add the milk powder, the IV infusion, Antibiotic and admission fee. I am so going to starve my stupid dog this month, don't want to give him anything to eat !! Eat GRASS LA !!!! I AM SO BROKE !!!

He is active ( as though he just went for a holiday with the vet.....*hand smack head*) when i went to visit him around 5pm. All of us at home were damn worried........fear against fear that someone would called up and tell us he is dead !! And he is enjoying himself in the clinic?? WTH!!! Anyway, his hand was bandaged to hold the canula (or with his pai kuan (bad behavior in hokkien), he would have scratch the whole thing off in a second......and he is currenly undergoing IV infusion with 5% dextrose plus Normal Saline. haha. He is not given food today NOR tmr.....muahaha...PADAN MUKA !!! No solid food for 3 days, he is going to stuck with milk for 2 days and i am sure he is not going to like it since we give him best dog food at home (abalone and shark fin k...)

Muahahaha ! I am just glad he is fine and the vet is such a nice guy !! Lolz. Even tmr is sunday, he still come back to the clinic purposely to check on him and if tut is okay, he will discharge him (actually tonight can discharge, but my mum don't want...later what if he suddenly has fever or what neh??)

Phew...stupid dog....took more than my pocket money !!! How could he??????????

p/s: will take some of his "glory" photo when he is back....and the x ray too (very cute x ray, totally diff from human)...if i get it back ............oh...and the so rusted needle. Lolz. Can't believe the needle was still new and shinning yesterday.........it is so rusty as though the needle was made 50years ago. Lolz.

Honto Ni Okuro (really angry)

2008-07-03T18:55:00.000+08:00

I am so sorry, if i bore you again with my old man story, i have no where else to say, no one else to tell, and i only have this site, the poor blog to tell to. Ignore me if you refuse to read, there is no pistol pointing at your head.

I just got a big blast from the old man.........feel so like crying......what kind of human is he? Never appreciate that he NEEDS us to take care of him, never appreciate that WE took him in when he quarreled with his daughter and son in law. I am stupid to feel like i am going to crying, oh yes i am, if i do cry, then i am really the stupidest person in this whole world.

Mum is right, he is nothing but an ungrateful old fellow, who thinks he can do everything, who thinks he owns everything, who thinks he is a king, who thinks he has loads of money, who thinks his health is as good as when he was at age 50, who thinks he can scold anyone he likes, who thinks he is always right, who thinks he can control everyone around him, who thinks by using dead as a threat he can do whatever he want, who thinks he got bullied in china and he must bully us back in Malaysia when we respect him, who thinks it is okay to over-ruled us......etc etc etc. WHAT KIND OF HUMAN IS HE? He is moneyless, not even a single CENT. Yes, i agree that he used to be rich, but he got bluffed by the china people and he just refuse to accept the fact that he is POOR. He has loads of imaginary stuffs, for example : "i gave u money to study and u are now ungrateful" when i talk to him slightly harsh, or "you think who i am? I give you money to buy this house 20K ah", when my mum tells him off, or "I never take that medication for a very very long time, throw that stupid med away, useless med, useless dr" when he just took the medication this morning.

I felt bad, really bad, I finally shouted at him just now. He was being very ridiculous. He had some cough and the doctor who used to see him when he was in SP did prescribe him some Cough syrup and reminded us to give him when he has cough in case anything worst happen to his only lung(he had TB and one lung is gone). I gave him the cough medcine and he talks to me that he cannot sleep and heart is "jumping" hard and fast. He requested to see doctor but i told him to take the cough syrup and he would be able to sleep well, yet he scolded me as though i trying to poison him. Keep saying " you don't understand!! I don't want to talk to you, you go away!! What kind of study you took, this medicine cannot work you also don't know. Don't go study your stupid course !!!'. I WILL NOT HAVE ANYONE OBJECTING TO WHAT I AM STUDYING. YOU CAN SCOLD ME TRYING TO POISON ME BUT YOU WILL NOT TALK BAD OF WHATEVER I AM STUDYING. YOU USED TO SAY DOCTOR IS THE MOST SAINTLY JOB IN THE WORLD<>

NO...don't worry, i didn't say that whole phrase out. I kept it in mind and curse him few times. But he just don't get the idea that i am supressing my anger and keep saying " i am dying soon, i don't mind die, but you all will get into trouble. Fast fast ask your dad come back i am dying tonite, tmr he come back, he won't be able to see me anymore.....blah blah blah. Then finally, when my tears are coming out, i walked away, called my dad and shout him to grab the phone from my dad. My dad and him didn't come to an agreement either. They were both quarreling. And finally he got so angry and call me to take the phone away (i am ur servant meh?). I thought i sure get some bad words from dad, but no, my dad was very nice, he told me to be patient and he is so sorry that my mum and i have to bear this kind of thing everyday. I really felt like crying. No one appreciated us for what we did. No one understands what hardship are we going tru, the person who knows are taking granted and continue to scold us like we are a piece of garbage.

SO finally, my dad just tell me to take him to the doctor, let the doctor tell him that he is fine. FINE, i brought him to the doctor and at the door steps my grandpa saw 3 steps going up and called me stupid, why do i bring him this way. I told him firmly that there is no other way except the steps, all roads have steps. So finally, he walked up with loads of hustle and bustle. Many people were staring at us, practically because we communicate by shouting to each other (cuz he is 80% deaf) and because he is so old and we still bring him out. I felt so embarrassing. Esp when he say the whole bunch of rude language. Is he not civilised at all??

The doctor was staring at me when i walked with him into the consultation room and started to check the whole box of medication i brought. While he was checking, he scolded my mum again, saying he came for cannot sleep and palpitations why she brought the medications which he hasn't been eating FEW YEARS (he just took this morning), my mum tried to explain to him but he just continue to say the same thing over and over. Finally, the doctor made clear of what he is taking and what he came for and start examine him. His BP was PERFECT, his breath sounds are perfect, even his heart beat and pulse are perfectly normal. There is no palpitations there is absolutely nothing wrong. When we told him about that, he scolded us for trying to lie. The doctor pitied us and tell us that he will give him some tranquilizer to give all of us a rest. THANK GOD.

So, after the doctor visit, while we were going down the steps again, he asked whether there is any other road and say he is not able to walk (he is lying!!!). I said no and after 3 seconds he asked again and i said no. The cycle goes on....and for the 4th time, i don't care i am in public, i don't care there are people walking around, i just shouted at him "NO NO NO, how many times do you want me to tell you? told you its very difficult to come see the doctor, you are perfectly well and whats your purpose of coming here and bring all this mafan to your ownself?". I guess he finally got the cue that i am angry and shut up till now.

I am angry and at the same time ashamed of myself. I don't know what to do with him. I have to even lie to him that i threw his old med away and i will again serve him with those old med plus the tranquilizer. There is a demon in my head, repeating the word "curse him die curse him die, or throw him to old folks home" then there is another angel saying " no no, this is a good challege to train ur patient, just bear with him, he is just a poor thing, money-less and no one else wants him". But i feel that the demon is grewing stronger everyday and the angel is fading away.

Its just a matter of time when finally my dad screw him up and throw him to old folks home if he don't watch out. By that time, i also don't know will i talk with my dad to help him get out of being sent to old folks home or will i just leave it like that.

I really don't know how to serve him anymore. STUPID ungrateful old man !

久病无孝子....

2008-07-02T17:15:00.000+08:00

Seriously, don't you dare snort as this title and say only lazy people think that.......until you really did care for an old person.

Lou Yeh, is what i call my grandpa now, well, since he don't know any cantonese, this is the best word i can find for him when my mum and I want to talk about him. He is seriously super BAD TEMPER. How bad? Let me show you below

Lou Yeh: L. Mum: M. Doreen: D. Dad: P

Scene 0, act 1

[L shouts at stair case again, at 1am in the morning with my dear dog barking madly]

P: dad, whats wrong? Why don;t you use the bell?

L: what bell? I see no bell?

P: har? Its there, you forget isit? Never mind, what happen? [holding L walk back room]

L; i shout until i want die already, only you come down

P: what happen? I don't know you shout, can't hear upstairs

L: stupid dog, feed for what also don't know, don't know how to bark, don't know how to call people, throw him away better

P: cannot la, that dog is Doreen and M's love dog, they will be very mad

L: [know there is no way to throw the dog away] I wake up see a dead body beside my bed, then i shout

p: Har? What dead body? Show me

L: neh [point towards a bolster lying on a cushion]

P; dad, thats a BOLSTER on the cushion

L: what cushion?

P: M put the cushion there to prevent you from falling off, i told you this afternoon? Then your bolster rolled over there

L: YOU DID NOT TELL ME (when my dad rightfully did), so its ALL YOUR FAULT. IF I DIE ALSO YOUR FAULT................************ All bad words shouting at my dad's face [dad's face turning black]

L: [finally] Go sleep la, i have nothing to talk to you (when he has talked so much? Still got meh?? haha)

P: [harsh tone] Ok, i go sleep, anything...PRESS THE BELL PLEASE!!

Scene 1, Act 1

L shouted early morning at the stair case and finally, woke M up.

M: Dad, why don't you use the bell we set for you? You call like this we can't hear from upstairs.

L: Bell? What Bell? I know nothing about the bell.

M: neh, the bell i put on ur bed, remember?

L: oh, that stupid bell, i press FEW HUNDRED times....also you all didn't wake up, so i come and call. Call until i want to die already, also you all don't want to wake up. that stupid dog, feed for what, don't know how to bark, throw him away.

M: What? You didn't press the bell. Or else upstairs would have rang.....[haven't finish]

L: No, i PRESS and you all are being lazy and deaf!!!! {later he told me is "u sleep late of coz can't hear" I will explain why he is so nice}

M: No, you did not and we are not being lazy

L: Yes i did.....you all are LAZY and useless. **********bad words which one of them, i remembered clearly is (suck ur penis....)

Scene 1, Act 2

M: [ getting impatient ] Ok, the bell is stupid. So what can i do for you?

L: Open the door, wide !!

M: WHAT? [horrified] Dad, its 7am outside, you cannot see anything with your eyes.....[haven't finish]

L: I DON'T CARE, JUST OPEN !!!!

M: [refuse to open]

L: OPEN Door, can't you hear me?

M: NO, i won't

L: Cis ********** (bad words), {head back to his bed and sleep}

Scene 2, act 1

L: Go get some oil to put on my feet

M: [look at his feet] Dad, your feet is already oily, there is no such need, later you fell down [havent finish]

L: I WANT the oil !!!!

M: [lazy choi him, walk away]

Scene 2, act 2

(3hrs later, M went out to bank, D sat with L in living room)

L: Doreen, go get the oil, my feet is not comfortable

D: Oh, ok. {go get, then apply nicely}

L: Go to my room, pour away the urine

D: Oh, ok. [ pour urine ]

L: Go to my room, remove one of the urine bottles

D: why remove one? Its too small, one is not enough for a night.

L: Enough enough, just remove.

D: oh, ok, you say it.

[20mins later]

M: YOU PUT OIL FOR HIM??

D:yea, he asked mah,

M: that lou yeh ah, can't get from me, will ask from you.......geram !!!

D: oh and the urine bottles, he say to remove one

M: WHAT??? ONe not enough, put back for him, and don't say anything

D: Oh, okay....

(so end up, i have to undo everything )

Scene 3, act 1

L: Why you off my room's light?

M: Oh, sorry, just now you were outside, so i off it to save electric and same time, prevent the bulb from spoiled

L: DO NOT TRY TO OFF MY LIGHT

M: okay...fine...if spoil then you have to bear the consequences of staying in total darkness, I cannot go out buy a new one cuz doreen would be in uni and there is no one else at home

L: [malas peduli M and go on another fluorescence light]

M: why on so many light? The bulb is bright enough, its white light and energy saving, and it won't be so stuffy

L: I cannot see, so i must on 2 lights only can see

M: [geram, walk away, off the fluorascence light after 30mins when L slept]

(1hr later)

L: Why off my light again? [walk to on it]

M: [malas nak cakap, go bath]

M tells D, who is having dinner: Later, when he sleeps, go off his light

L: [as if he can hear M speech when he is 80% deaf] Doreen, Don't off my lights, old man must on light to sleep.

D: [nod nod]

L: [see D didn't say anything] Electric few CENTS only mah, when bill come, you mah come ask money from me.

D: [still speechless, but getting angry,thinking he where got money left? All given to his devoted china People]

L: Few cents also want to kira.......

D: [he is getting on her nerves, walks away, leave him alone]

(note: [doreen's mind] i don't care about the bill, i DO NOT WANT YOUR MONEY. You are insulting my personality of being a very stingy person. We are not stingy, its for your own good, stupid fella.)

Scene 3, act 2

(40mins later)

L: go find some Tukang to make something to fit the hole

M: i already fit it with box and topped it with cushions

L: i don't want. You go find tukang

M: there is no tukang in KL,even if do, they only make kitchen cabinets and big stuffs

L: GO FIND [harsh shouting voice], few CENTS only, you don't want pay, I PAY

M: [basically shout at him] You got money you thinking people want to do ah? You got money you think you king ah, i tell you last time THERE IS NO TUKANG IN KL THAT WOULD COME JUST FOR that SMALL HOLE

L: Then go find some tukang that make STEEL cabinet

M: [pissed off, walk away]

Scene 4, act 1

L: Why off my lights?

M: Har? Light spoil adi isit? I where got off [the truth is, we off it....haha...cuz it is so stuffy....really no cure]

L: You bluff ghost ah? You think i stupid ah, STUPID FELLA, spoil already, ON FOR ME!!

M: [malas serve him...walks away]

L: [still shouting stupid fella ]

Scene 4, act 2

L: Go tell the people staying behind this house, DON"T do construction at night, i cannot sleep.

M; There is no construction also, where got noise?

L: Who says no? I heard it (although he is 80% deaf?? haha). JUST GO

M: cannot like that la, that is people's house, what they want to do, we have no power against them

L: POwer....har...you want to talk power with me?? THIS HOUSE I BUY WITH OWN MONEY, 20K, I HAVE NO POWER TO SHUT THEM UP???

M: [burst finally, due to long persisting stress] Money? Hmph, you where got give 20K?? This MONEY I BUY WITH MY OWN MONEY, SORRY TO SAY, NOT YOUR MONEY!!!!

L: who says? I got give you all 20K, then it is the JB House

M: Hmph? JB? I where got house there? I got 2 children studying, i where got so many money to buy so many house?

L: then i give the money to the children for study

M: NO YOU DID NOT!!!!! {going hysterics} YOU ONLY GAVE TO THOSE CHINA PEOPLE. YOU NEVER CARE FOR THE CHILDREN HERE!!!

L: Cheh, study only mah? Poi Tee (my dad), last time also study 30 K for 4 years la.....you so poor meh?

M: [seriously pissed off] 30K? You go find for me la, teik chee (my brother) study also 300K and doreen is going for 900K. YOu didn't even PAY A CENT, everything also give china.

L: [shut up finally cuz thats the truth] (after 30seconds), You don't want on the light, i want until P come back and ask him on, HMPH...useless....see la....later....(threatening tone)

M: [real fed up] TELL LA, TELL LA, YOu think i CARE??? GO and tell see what P tell you.....he would say IT IS SPOILED !!!! [crying soon.....so she walks away]

Scene 4, Act 3

[L press bell at 7am]

M: Doreen, go see, i really very sleepy

D: [look at clock] What????? 7AM??? i have class at 10.30 neh...WTF !!!

[D took her sweet time walking down, making BIG BIG noise indicating she is coming downstairs]

D: [pissed off, yet trying to hold it from showing] Yes, grandpa, what can i help you?

L: Open the door

D: {thinking its the front door}, Okay...no prob (lazy fight with him...faster finish mission, faster go back to sleep)

L walks slowly to the back door

L: DOREEN!!! WHERE YOU GO???

D: [waiting at front foor] Har??? What ??? {faster run to back door}

L; i call you open door, what you doing? Lock the door for what? Want die ah?

D: [hold back her temper] Oh, open, open, open now lo

L; The toilet door leh? Why lock?

D: [lazy choi him, open the door without saying anything]

L; [look at D, said something D don't understand...presumbly bad words....]

D: Har? What? DO you want me to help you in doing big business???

L: i say where is the toilet paper? What you want me use to clean wor? (again say something D don't understand, presumbly bad words)

D: [walk into toilet, point at the toilet paper....drag some out] Neh, toilet paper lo

L: Go back to sleep, i would be alright

[so, D walk back to room, fell on bed and was fast asleep in 10mins]

At 9am, D woke up and going for breakfast, she decided to walk into the toilet stated just now, to see is there anything wrong.......and find......the toilet bowl stuck with toilet paper.......{OMG !!!! I want to faint !!!}

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Interesting? I did not try to make it comical. This is what had happened in my household these 3 days!! 3 okay, not 30. I really getting more and more impatient with him. Every morning, i woke up, i have to hypnotise myself, tell myself " okay, must be patient, you are going to be doctor in near future, you must be patient, take it as a challenge, you can do it!!" But some how, lou yeh just has the talents to make you into throwing temper.

Most of the scenes and acts are between my mum and him, mainly because he rarely sees me and did not dare to talk rudely to me. Why? I thought he loves grand children at first and HOW INNOCENT AND NAIVE I WAS. NOpe, it wasn't for that reason. He thinks that, if he annoys me, who is future going to be a doctor, and once he is in trouble, as in health trouble, i won't treat him nor help him. So he must puji puji me a bit. Get good relationship with me. -sigh-........

Now, he looks down on my mother, who is only PMR level and my dad who is an engineer. He only looks up to DOCTORS. I am glad that i am going to be one of the doctor, since i know, my life would be even more miserable if i am not a medical student but some...er...maybe nurse? Or dancer? Or kindergarden teacher? I tell you, he would screwed me just like how he screwed my mum everyday.

久病无孝子.., i totally understand and know why people says so. He is an old prank!!

Old Man

2008-06-29T01:30:00.001+08:00

Sorry for being long winded. I just suddenly feel like writing another post on a different title.

The bell just rang, yes, your eye sight is perfectly NORMAL, i have a bell at home, upstairs and it rang at 1am, approx 5 mins ago. But i am not going to talk about the bell, but the person who rang the bell.

My grandpa reached my home today, about 2.30pm while i was enjoying myself with my PM5 gangs in Sunway Piramid. I knew he was coming, but i also knew that, today will be the last chance for me to come out shopping, have meals with friends and spend such a long long time chatting and teasing each other. It will be the last time for me, until he goes back to my aunt's place in Sungai Petani, Kedah. I am not complaining, no, if you get me for complaining, you are absolutely wrong. I am not complaining AT ALL. I knew we have to share responsible (my family and my aunt's family), and i am so prepared to take up the responsible after putting my grandpa there for 3months and i am thankful that my aunt is so nice to take him till i finish my exams. So, i am NOT COMPLAINING AT ALL.

He looks much better today, he has a new hair cut (for info, i actually seen him er, during early June and the hair cut was quite same, but for blogging purposes, since i never wrote about him having a diff hair cut....i may as well states her.....as if someone bothers...haha). Anyway, he has a diff hair style, almost bald like what Kelvin George Thomas having now...haha(sorry, Kelvin, be proud that i wrote your name here!!). He certainly looks energetic, but ...er....too energetic to say bad words like F***, D***, G***....if u don't get what i am tying to hint there....never mind, just know he is using loads of bad words, worst than anyone who use it that i met before. -sigh- >.<

The 1st thing i found out, when i reach home (i came back earlier k...just for him...sacrifice neh), i found out that he HATES my dog. He don't like my dog running at his heels, he even shooe my dog when my dog comes near to him. Sigh. I don't know, i have a feel that he would complain so much to my dad, to persuade him to give away my dog. NO WAY. The dog stays where i stay, if the dog GOES, then i GO TOO!!! I will have to TEACH him for understanding this fact, yes, i agree, this sounds rude, but his mentality is just like a 5years old boy, he don't understand lots of things yet pretend to understand, he is very bossy, he is very...er...degil. Lolz. *crack knuckles*, if he dare TOUCH my dog, i will GAO DIM him. Haha.

About 3 hours ago, my dog barks loudly. So, i went down and found my dad who reach there slightly earlier than me, talking to my grandpa who was lying on the bed. Apparently, he shouted loudly and my dog thought something goes wrong and bark as loud as he could *good dog right? Buying him something nice tmr..hehe*. So, yea, why did my grandpa shouted at 11pm when everyone is preparing to get into bed? Well, here is what he says to my dad " i woke up suddenly and i saw a bed beside my bed and a DEAD body lying there. I though i am dying soon. Why do you put the small piece of tilam next to my bed ? (my dad says, to cover the small hole there so you don't fall down), Then you should have told me earlier?? Its all YOUR FAULT....I NEARLY DIE OF SHOCK...IF I DIE ALSO YOUR FAULT....blah blah ************* ( all the bad words coming out )

Oh boy, you should see how black my dad's face was. The 1st time in my whole i see him talk so harshly to my grandpa with a BLACK face. Just now (about 2hr ago), my mum came in to chat with me, telling me that my father was nagging about how could my grandpa said those things to him. Sigh. He is really ANGRY and SAD at the same time.

One thing i learn from my grandpa today is, TO NOT LIVE AS OLD AS HIM, UNLESS I AM IN A GOOD MENTALITY, GOOD HEALTH, MOBILE, ABLE TO EAT, LAUGH, CHAT and NOT BAD TEMPER. And, another issue " TO NOT MARRY BAD TEMPER MAN OR HAS HISTORY OF BAD TEMPER ". Haha. ^.^ Smart of me right??

I am serious about the bad temper thingy, i had made up my mind long long time ago, whoever wish to be my special ones (wah...so pah pai??), must NOT BE BAD TEMPER AT ALL. Dare to angry me for no reasons at all for ONCE, and i SWEAR i will throw you into the dustbin and never see you again. haha.

Nite...really tired !!